give a man a fish, and he’ll just expect more free fish. teach a man to fish, and you can stick him with crippling fishing school debt
— lawblob (@lawblob) July 21, 2013Offering any Arclight usher $10,000 for the undoctored list of people who purchased tickets to I, FRANKENSTEIN.
— Ally Hord (@hordie) January 28, 2014“It’s steampunk, the eurotrash of nerddom"
— Don Garvey (@Don_Garvey) January 26, 2014Full Title: I, FRANKENSTEIN, DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I WILL SUPPORT AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES AGAINST ALL ENEMIES
— Keith Calder (@keithcalder) January 24, 2014Starz website: "Sure, we have streaming content! Just buy our cable TV service!" Like giving away penicillin with every leeching.
— Shamus Young (@shamusyoung) January 23, 2014After my spec script "leaked" out to several uninterested producers and executives, I also decided to "shelve it for now" like Tarantino.
— Alex Blagg (@alexblagg) January 23, 2014In similar news, if my western script leaks, please send me any spelling or grammar errors you find. Thanks!
— Ti West (@Ti_West) January 22, 2014movie idea the horse of wall street it's the exact same movie except dicaprio wears a horse head
— Peter Labuza (@labuzamovies) January 6, 2014When I was a kid you couldn't just retweet something. You had to go to the local twitter fountain where the pharmacist would mix it for you.
— Zach Weinersmith (@ZachWeiner) January 5, 2014Reminder that once something expires on Netflix, the master copies are shot into space and you have zero options to ever see it again.
— Chris L (@brittonlowe) December 30, 2013Imagine if the people who owned restaurants didn't like food & chefs had managers who thought TacoBell was great. You've imagined Hollywood.
— Devin Faraci (@devincf) December 26, 2013"Stupid iPhone," I mutter angrily at the handheld miracle of technology that would make my ancestors shit their pants in amazement.
— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham) December 18, 2013HELLO 911? YES MY COWORKER MICROWAVED TAQUITOS FOR LUNCH AND I CAN'T GET THE SMELL OUT OF MY NOSE
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) December 17, 2013A smuggler shoots and kills a bounty hunter. After a lengthy trial he is acquitted due to contradictory accounts of who shot first.
— Hard Sci-Fi Movies (@HardSciFiMovies) December 17, 2013A key signifier of adulthood is irritation that it's snowing.
— Katherine Miller (@katherinemiller) December 14, 2013NSA snooped on online fantasy gamers is one way to put it. NSA paid a bunch of people to play online fantasy games is another way to put it.
— Matt Stoller (@matthewstoller) December 9, 2013When preparing your Best Films Of 2013 lists, please remember to consider my horror films from 2006 and 2011.
— Keith Calder (@keithcalder) December 3, 2013"Phil, Phil you're not hearing me. It's not the same. They're curled." - the inventor of curly fries explaining them to some dick named Phil
— Sam Fickman (@NonThoughts) November 5, 2013"I don't use Twitter" is the new "I don't own a TV."
— emilynussbaum (@emilynussbaum) October 21, 2013An alien race is severely allergic to water. Earth is swiftly ruled out as a candidate planet for invasion.
— Hard Sci-Fi Movies (@HardSciFiMovies) October 19, 2013I asked my daughter what her favorite kind of juice is, and she said "The blood of my enemies."
— Greg Rice esq. (@greg_rice) October 4, 2013Oh, for Pete's sake, lighten up. It's not like Ben Affleck approves of your every choice, either.
— Mark Waid (@MarkWaid) August 24, 2013There are plenty of fish in the sea, you disgusting fish fucker.
— Big Tits Will Weldon (@oldmanweldon) August 21, 2013Tried to call the USPS. I was apparently 1 number off and got a sex chat line. They were much more helpful locating a package than the USPS.
— kelly bishop (@wheresmuffy) August 16, 2013Forget calories. Cardio machines should tell us what food we burned off.
"You just ran 3.6 miles / spicy burrito."
— David Blue (@DavidBlue) August 11, 201399 little bugs in the code
99 little bugs in the code
Take one down, patch it around
117 little bugs in the code
— Alex Shchepetilnikov (@irqed) July 19, 2013