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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Tweets of Glory
As a testament to the enduring power of blogs, I give you a blog post that consists almost entirely of tweets. You're welcome. And that's all for now. See you this weekend with Kaedrin Movie Awards nominations!
Posted by Mark on January 29, 2014 at 09:09 PM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Tweets of Glory
As a testament to the enduring power of blogs, I give you a blog post that consists almost entirely of tweets. You're welcome. So there you have it. Blogs are alive and well. (See you on Sunday with, hopefully, a more edifying post).
Posted by Mark on June 12, 2013 at 09:54 PM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Tweets of Glory
One of the frustrating things about Twitter is that it's impossible to find something once it's gone past a few days. I've gotten into the habit of favoriting ones I find particularly funny or that I need to come back to, which is nice, as it allows me to publish a cheap Wednesday blog entry (incidentally, sorry for the cheapness of this entry) that will hopefully still be fun for folks to read. So here are some tweets of glory:

Note: This was Stephenson's first tweet in a year and a half.

This one is obviously a variation on a million similar tweets (and, admit it, it's a thought we've all had), but the first one I saw (or at least, favorited - I'm sure it's far from the first time someone made that observation though)

Well, that happened. Stay tuned for some (hopefully) more fulfilling content on Sunday...
Posted by Mark on May 02, 2012 at 08:36 PM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

12DC: Day 10 - Seasons Eatings
I'm sure you've already seen this, but it's always worth watching again:

Aside from holiday balls, 'tis also the season for Pizzelles (or Italian death cookies, as my friend Dave calls them)... alas, I do not have any good pictures of my mom's famous Pizzelles. Perhaps later. Anyway, we're getting close now!
Posted by Mark on December 23, 2008 at 09:41 PM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Monday, December 15, 2008

12DC: Day 2 - The Lost Ending of It's a Wonderful Life
A few years ago, the lost ending to the holiday classic It's a Wonderful Life was found. It's brilliant.

Tomorrow, we'll handle christmas trees... sorta.
Posted by Mark on December 15, 2008 at 06:40 PM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Geekout: Alien vs. Predator
A while ago, I ran accross this McSweeney's article that pit Alien vs. Predator in a series of unlikely events like Macramé and Lincoln-Douglas Debating. Long time readers will know that I am a fan of the Alien vs. Predator concept, though the recent films have been awful (Alien, Aliens, and Predator are some of my favorites movies though, and the original AvP comic book was fantastic). In any case, I couldn't resist discussing and debating some of the events listed out, and the result was a pretty amusing (and incredibly geeky) conversation.

The first event under question was Breakdancing. I had picked the Alien for this and thought it was the obvious choice. My friend Roy disagreed, noting:
I think you've failed to take into account the unique physiology of the alien. Those tubes on his back? The tail? Those are going to make dancing very difficult. No backspins for him. I think that the Predator's upper body strength will help him to pull of some awesome moves. And, he doesn't have big pipes or tubes coming up out of his back.
I have to admit that he had a point about the tubes on the Alien's back, but I still felt the Alien was the superior breakdancer. My response:
Point taken, but I still see the Alien having much more agility, thus giving them the ability to move more gracefully than the Predator while break dancing. While their backspins might be problematic, they do have that giant head which would enable them to perform some rather spectacular headstands and headspins. And while the tail could get in the way of a back-spin, it would also give them a valuable 5th pivot with which they could pull off all sorts of crazy moves. Back spins are an important part of break dancing, but there are no shortages of upper body, frontal, side, or sliding moves, and indeed, there seem to be more of those than back maneuvers. When you add in the Alien's unique physiology, you get something that would allow for all sorts of variations and indeed, even totally new moves. Really, I think the Alien would revolutionize the break dancing scene. The predator's upper-body streght would allow for some amazing handstand style moves, but in almost every other way they are less limber and agile than the alien or even most human break-dance experts. Indeed, the alien does not seem to have an absense of upper body strength, so it's not like that gives the Predator a decisive advantage (the way the alien's tail does). I suppose it's possible that not all Predators are as bulked up as the ones in the films, but there is no real evidence of that.
Personally, I still believe I'm right on that one. The next event that came into question was Competitive Hot-Dog Eating. My initial pick was Predator, mostly because of his larger mouth and mandibles (when you look closely, the Alien's mouth is actually quite small). Anyway, Roy had some comments about this pick as well:
Totally goes to alien. Aliens are always hungry. They do nothing but eat and kill. We don't even actually know that Predator's eat meat. They're probably a bunch of annoying vegans. ;P
Once again, I think Roy makes a fair point here, but it's ultimately unpersuasive. My response:
This makes more sense to me, though I do maintain that the Alien's multi-tiered mouth is still significantly smaller and thus represents a bottleneck during any sort of competitive eating contest. Yes, their activities are generally limited to eating, killing, building those crazy hives and reproducing, but I see that as just a further example of why they would not be good at competitive eating. Since that's all they do, they do not have to eat fast. It's hard to tell because the alien and it's motivations are so... alien... and unexplored. The Predators, on the other hand, clearly have some sort of civilization with technological capabilities well beyond our own. It stands to reason that they would have less time dedicated to eating, and thus would need to scarf down more in less time... which means they would be better suited towards competitive eating. Your point about vegan Predators is also taken, but what we know of their culture is that it is based primarily on hunting. While I'm sure there are vegan Predators, I think it's fair to speculate that a race of hunters values and prizes meat.
I thought that was pretty good, but someone else stepped in at this point to defend Roy, noting that:
We know they hunt, yes, but in the hunts we've seen they take trophies, not food. I have yet to see a predator field-dress an alien. I mean, hell, how much meat could be on something like that anyway? It's all chitin and sinew, not really a meal at all, and that's before we think about the effects upon the stomach lining of that acid blood (ulcers like you wouldn't believe!!). No, it's not fair to speculate on their eating habits by looking at their hunts. Their hunts are trophy kills, rites of passage, not a means for survival. Everything we've seen of their society, we haven't been given clue one about their eating habits.
This is certainly an interesting take on the matter. My response:
Interesting point, but I think it's reasonable to make some extrapolations based on their hunting culture. It's reasonable to assume that their hunts as portrayed in the movies are indeed trophy hunts and not a matter of survival or food. This makes sense on an additional level because they're hunting alien species and alien physiology may not react well with their digestive systems (as you mention, the alien would be particularly bad in that respect). However, it's also reasonable to assume that the reason for their hunting tradition is that they were required to do so in the evolution of their species. Yes, I'm extrapolating from human experiences here, but there are humans today who hunt purely for trophies. It's reasonable to assume that the reason the Predator race is so focused on hunting is that they were forced to do so on their home planet. Indeed, in such a case, the act of hunting could take on a more meaningful aspect because of symbolic or perhaps even spiritual reasons. The act of hunting clearly goes beyond survival for them, but it's reasonable to assume that it began as a simple survival technique on their home planet, and grew into a more meaningful practice as the race became more advanced.
This thread went on for a few more posts and ultimately resulted in a stalemate, as we really don't know enough about either culture to say for sure. I still think it's reasonable to say that the hunting culture of the Predators implies a history of hunting and meat-eating.

The next topic under debate was the Wet T-Shirt Contest, which I had originally given a tie. After all, for the most part, we see both the Alien and the Predator without their shirts on, so what's the point of a Wet T-Shirt Contest? However, someone interjected a brilliant point that totally convinced me that I was wrong; the Alien would undoubtedly win this event.
Wet T-shirt: Alien. Preddy has been noted on several occasions to be "one ugly motherfucker."
There is simply no arguing with that one.
Posted by Mark on November 26, 2008 at 11:32 PM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Moon
A few years ago, The Onion put out a book called Our Dumb Century. It was comprised of a series of newspaper front pages, one from each year. It was an interesting book, in part because of the events they chose to represent each year and also because The Onion writers are hilarious. The most brilliant entry in the book was from the 1969 edition of the paper:

Newspaper from 1969: Holy Shit, Man Walks on Fucking Moon

Utterly brilliant. You can't read it on that small copy, but there's a whole profanity-laden exchange between Houston and Tranquility Base that's also hysterically funny. As it turns out, The Onion folks went ahead and made a video, complete with archival footage and authentic sounding voices, beeps, static, etc... Incredibly funny. [video via Need Coffee]

Update: Weird, I tried to embed the video in this post, but when you click play it says it's no longer available... but if you go directly to youtube, you can get the video. I'm taking out the embedded video and putting in the link for now.
Posted by Mark on September 24, 2008 at 10:04 PM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Stolen Pixels
I'm sure most of my readers also read Shamus (of DM of the Rings fame), but in case there are some who don't, I'd like to point to Shamus' new comic, called Stolen Pixels. So far, the comic has been lampooning the Unreal Tournament games, but he says he'll be covering other games as the comic progresses. I imagine these will resemble the little comics he's done on several of his posts a few months ago (for instance, see this comic on Sins of a Solar Empire...) So far, there are only 2 comics, but there are 2 new comics published a week (on Tuesdays and Fridays). I'm looking forward to more!
Posted by Mark on July 13, 2008 at 07:23 PM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Summoner Geeks
Via Haibane.info, I stumbled across this:

It's pretty funny and I got a little curious about the history of this thing. Apparently a sketch comedy troupe in Wisconsin called the Dead Alewives put together an album featuring a parody of Dungeons & Dragons. The audio skit is pretty funny by itself, and it's been making the rounds on radio and the internet ever since the mid 1990s. In 2000, a bunch of developers at a video game company, Volition (they made Descent, Red Faction, and of course, Summoner), made an animated version, and distrubuted it along with their games (it's in some promotional material and if you win the game, you see it there as well). So it went from an improvisational comedy group, to a CD they made, to the radio, to the internet, got mashed up with visuals from other video games, and has now finally made its way to me (about 12 years later).
Posted by Mark on April 02, 2008 at 10:42 PM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Ok, I'm slacking. The top 10 movies of 2007 will be posted this Sunday. In the mean time, I leave you with this anti-terrorism suggestion from Charlie Stross (and yes, I'm posting this a few months late, but it's still funny):
The solution to protecting the London Underground from terrorist suicide bombers can be summed up in one word: Daleks. One Dalek per tube platform, behind a door at the end. Fit them with cameras and remote controls and run them from Ken Livingstone's office. Any sign of terrorism on the platform? Whoosh! The doors open and the Dalek comes out, shrieking "exterminate!" in a demented rasp reminiscent of Michael Howard during his tenure as Home Secretary, only less merciful.

The British are trained from birth to know the two tactics for surviving a Dalek attack; run up the stairs (or escalator), or hide behind the sofa. There are no sofas in the underground, but there are plenty of escalators. Switch them to run upwards when the Dalek is out, and you can clear a platform in seconds.

Suicide bombers are by definition Un-British, and will therefore be unable to pass a citizenship test, much less deal with the Menace from Skaro.
Posted by Mark on January 23, 2008 at 08:13 PM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

a screenplay.

I actually wrote this a few months ago (posted in my forum) when these chips came out, but since I'm still short on time these days, I figured repurposed content is better than no content, so enjoy. One warning is that there is lots of profanity in the below...

A dozen men and women dressed in business attire sit around a table. Several appear to be ANGRY. Baskets of various chips and snacks are scattered throughout the table. Frito Lay executives are questioning our hero, Burt Dorito.

FRITO LAY EXECUTIVE 1: What the fuck!? This is the worst fucking chip I've ever fucking had. Foster! How many of these godforsaken things did we make.

FOSTER: We have somewhere on the order of 1500 tons of it at the warehouse.



BURT DORITO: They're not that bad. They taste like hamburgers! With pickles!

FRITO LAY EXECUTIVE 2: They're fucking horrible. They taste like fucking hamburgers. With fucking pickles.

FOSTER: Burt, did you forget that 3 people have just vomited from eating these chips? Christ, I think I'm going to vomit.

BURT DORITO: Stop exaggerating. Those people were already sick. It had nothing to do with the chips.

FRITO LAY EXECUTIVE 1: You better have a fucking plan you fucking twit. This fucking shit is going to fucking ruin us.

BURT DORITO: They're good, let's just release them. We can call it the American Classic Burger or something.

FRITO LAY EXECUTIVES 1 and 2 sit in silence while GLARING at BURT DORITO.

MARKETING WEENIE 1: I think I have an idea.

FRITO LAY EXECUTIVE 1: Who the fuck are you?

MARKETING WEENIE 2: He's our top marketing guy. Whaddaya got Bill?

MARKETING WEENIE 1: Well, I figure our best bet is to market the new flavor in such a way that the customer doesn't know what they're buying.

BURT DORITO: What the fuck are you talking about!? How the fuck are you going to do that? People are going to want to know what they're eating, aren't they?

MARKETING WEENIE 2: You think people know they're eating Monosodium Glutamate when they eat Doritos?

MARKETING WEENIE 1: Look, it's easy. We'll do a contest or something. We can simply pretend that we don't know what to name the new flavor, and allow customers to enter by submitting names for the new chip.

FRITO LAY EXECUTIVE 1: I think "Shitburger" will work.

FRITO LAY EXECUTIVE 2: Good work Marketing Weenies. Hey asshat, what's the project number on this atrocity?


FRITO LAY EXECUTIVE 1: Great, print it.


Several people enter WAWA, looking to get some lunch. The store is CROWDED. Two SCHMUCKS, JANE and MARK, order a sandwhich, grab their ticket and go to get a drink and snack to go with their sandwhich. As they approach the snack isle, they notice something new:

MARK: Whoa, what the fuck is that?

JANE: Looks like a new flavor of Doritos!

MARK: Yeah, but what flavor.

JANE: I dunno. Looks like they want us to name it for them.

MARK: Lazy fuckers.

JANE: Yeah.

MARK: I'm intrigued though. I'm getting it.

JANE: Me too.


Several people sit at a PICNIC TABLE, enjoying their lunch.

MARK: Gross

JANE (in unison): Gross


MARK: I'm sure I'm giving these Frito Lay people way too much credit.
Yeah, so don't get those X-13D Doritos. Unless you like the idea of a Dorito that tastes like a hamburger (with pickles). While I'm at it, let's use their marketing website against them:
A nice bag of Shitburger Supreme Doritos
Posted by Mark on September 26, 2007 at 11:05 PM .: link :.

Chuck Jones is a vengeful god
Given my recent work schedule, this recent XKCD comic seems especially poignant. Pursuit of unattainable perfection? Why yes, I am working with CSS.
Posted by Mark on September 26, 2007 at 12:46 AM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

I believe the answer is Spartaaaaaaa
Time is short this week (I know, what else is new, but it's especially short this week) so I'll just point to some of the funniest photoshopped 300 parodies I've seen [via NeedCoffee]. I've included one of my favorites below, but I think the best one is in an animated gif about halfway down the page.

King Leonidas Plays Who Wants to be a Millionaire

Some other good ones: King Leonidas, Zidane Style, Wile E. Coyote, and This is Ping Pong. Oh, and of course, the PG Version.
Posted by Mark on April 04, 2007 at 09:36 PM .: Comments (1) | link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Blogroll Call
Everyone loves to be on a bunch of blogrolls, but just because you're there doesn't mean you'll get a lot of visitors. This becomes more true as the blogroll gets larger. Blogrolls are subject to an inverse network effect; the more blogs in the blogroll, the less valuable the link. Kaedrin gets a small amount of traffic, so even though I have a short blogroll, I'm guessing most of those blogs don't get a ton of visitors coming from here. So I just figured I'd throw some additional links their way:
  • Transit of Mercury, Photoblogged: Jay Manifold takes some nice pics of the planet Mercury, as well as an amusing comparison of Manifold Observatory and Powell Observatory.
  • Team of Rivals: Andrew Olmsted reviews a recent book that chronicles Abraham Lincoln's rise to the presidency, as well as the coalition he formed and maintained to fight the civil war:
    Lincoln's ability to hold together a coalition of abolitionists, conservative Republicans, and war Democrats during the American Civil War stands as a signal feat of political dexterity that seems yet more impressive in light of more recent American history. ... the book really hits its stride once Lincoln is elected and he assembles his Cabinet, beginning with his three rivals for the nomination. The contrast is particularly stark with modern politics, where Cabinets are formed from the victor's circle of political allies. Lincoln, on the other hand, selected men who not only wanted the job he held, but who viewed him poorly at best in some cases. It's hard to imagine a modern politician selecting men who viewed him with the kind of contempt Edwin Stanton viewed Lincoln, let alone getting the kind of results Lincoln did. Lincoln's ability to get results from such disparate men is an impressive primer in leadership.
    Interesting stuff, and I think I'll pick up the book at some point, as this seems to be an impressive example of compromise and tradeoffs (subjects that interest me) in action.
  • Ars Technica 2006 holiday gift guide: Make shopping for the geek in your family a little easier with this guide (sheesh, that sounded like advertising copy *shudders*). Most of the hardware and gadget gifts are pretty good, though expensive. However, they also include lots of interesting books and smaller gifts as well. Ars always has interesting articles though. I've already mentioned the Ars System Guide on the blog recently, but they also have reviews of the Wii and PS3 that are worth reading.
  • Casino Royale: Subtitle: Die almost never � nearly forever! Heh. Alexander Doenau's take on the latest Bond flick is roughly in line with my own feelings, though one of these days I'll get around to talking more about it on the blog.
    Which may beg the question of some audiences: where is the fun when there�s nary an insane scheme to be seen, and no psychedelically decorated gyrocopters? (thank you, Roald Dahl). The answer lies partly in Bond himself. Without the scary misogyny that Ian Fleming endowed Bond with 50 years ago, Daniel Craig plays Bond as an excellent bastard. This is a Bond so confident in his own skills that he doesn�t give a care who sees him because he has a licence to kill. This is probably the only Craig film we�ll see in which Bond is able to cut as loose as he did in Uganda, because part of the story involves developing a marginally more sensible and responsible MI6 agent, but he takes the sorts of risks that make the movie fun without being stupidly unbelievable.
    I love the description of James Bond as an "excellent bastard."
  • Steven Den Beste has an interesting rating system (another subject I'll tackle on the blog at some point). He uses a 4 star scale, but also includes a "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" graphic (for obvious reasons). This is interesting because it allows him to recognize a technical accomplishment without actually recommending the film (for instance, I would give Grave of the Fireflies **** with a thumbs down because it is masterfully produced, but so heartbreaking that I can't actually recommend it). In any case, if you scroll down on the link above (no permalinks there), you'll see that Steven has started rating individual anime episodes for a series called Kamichu. For episode 6, he rated it zero stars with six thumbs down. I wonder if he liked it?
  • A collection of Jonathan Swift's journalistic texts: Ralf Goergens over at Chicago Boyz makes an Jonathan Swift-related annotation to Neal Stephenson's Baroque Cycle:
    Attentive readers of Neal Stephenson's Baroque Cycle will remember Daniel Waterhouse reading a a number of astonishingly vile newspapers. Some of the most acrimonious articles were from Jonathan Swift, writing for Tory papers. Stephenson didn't make that part up, the articles can be found here.

    I didn't have time to do more than a bit of browsing, but some of the historical characters from the Baroque Cycle are mentioned, like Marlborough, Bolingbroke, Harley and of course Queen Anne. There also are extensive footnotes explaining the concrete circumstances under which the articles appeared.
  • Weblog Awards: Kevin Murphy notes that since he was inexplicably passed over for the Weblog Awards, he might as well add a bunch of categories and simply declare winners. Normally, this would seem like the actions of a snarky blogger, but since Kaedrin won a Koveted Kevy, I'll say it was the result of long-standing multifaceted research project considering nearly 2 billion blogs. Also, Kevin apparently knows something I don't: Kaedrin won the Best Blog With A Japanese Word As Its Title. Hmmm. It would be pretty funny if it actually was a Japanese word (anyone know what it means?)
  • The New Threats: John Robb continues his incisive commentary on global guerillas:
    As the debate over the value of the Iraq study group's report rumbles on, it's important to reflect on larger frame within which this debate is taking place. This frame, little discussed, encapsulates nature of the threat we face in Iraq and will be increasingly likely to face in the future. With Iraq, we can catch a glimpse of the new class of threat that will increasingly define our future (and given that even a glimpse is enough to stump the establishment should be a dire warning). This new class of threat is characterized by its bottoms up pattern of growth rather than the familiar competition between nation-states. It percolates upwards through catalyzed organic growth until it overwhelms our ability to respond to it.
    My general reaction to Robb's theories is that he is usually too pessimistic and that there must be a better way to fight these global guerillas, but he always makes for interesting and worthwhile reading.
  • Depressing Anime: Fledgling Otaku's thoughts on Grave of the Fireflies are a little harsher than my own, but I have to say that he's justified in calling it anime for emotional masochists. Don't miss the comment threads on that post, the follow up post, and the recent post (in which he mentions my review). Like me, the more he learns of the context, the more he says he can appreciate its value as a work of art.
  • Tax Law Is Complicated, But Is It Vague? : James Edward Maule reads about a Judge who "struck down a portion of the Patriot Act on the ground that despite amendments to the provisions they remain 'too vague' to be understood by 'a person of average intelligence' and thus are unconstitutional." As a professor of tax law, he wonders if the Internal Revenue Code is actually vague, and asks some interesting questions:
    If everything that could not be understood by a "person of average intelligence" were to be declared unconstitutional and removed from the planet, what would remain? Is there something wrong when a patient cannot understand a medical procedure used by a surgeon? Is there something wrong when a driver does not understand the engineering formulae used in designing the bridge over which the vehicle is crossing? Is there something wrong when someone enjoying a fine meal cannot understand the recipe?
  • Take my advice, or I�ll spank you without pants.: Johno over at the The Ministry of Minor Perfidy takes note of the glorious Chingrish of actual English Subtitles used in films made in Hong Kong. Some of my favorites:
    9. Quiet or I'll blow your throat up. 11. I�ll fire aimlessly if you don�t come out!
    18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?
    18. How can you use my intestines as a gift?
    19. This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat. [sic, of course]
    20. Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough examination.
    21. Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
    This sort of thing is funny, but bad translations are also responsible for ruining a lot of decent foreign movies.
  • Extremely Cool: Indeed it is:
    The Antikythera Mechanism is a 2000-year-old device, somewhat resembling a clock, found in 1902 by sponge divers in the waters off a Greek island. It has long been believed that it was a form of analog computer, used for astronomical calculations, but its precise operating mechanism was not well-understood.
    Interesting stuff.
  • Not the intended market, but still fun: Fritz Schranck has been sucked into What Not To Wear (one of those smug reality shows that berate people for having bad style, then attempt to help them out). While I've never seen this show, similar reality shows do have that sorta "I can't look away from this trainwreck" quality that makes them entertaining.
  • DM of the Rings: In terms of link love, I've been woefully neglectful of Shamus's brilliant DM of the Rings comic, which somehow manages to be both humorous and insightful (well, in terms of RPG gaming anyway). Using screenshots from the movies, it's essentially what the Lord of the Rings would have been like if it were played as a D&D game.
Holy crap, that took a while. I just realized that I would have probably been better off if I'd just done one or two a day. That way I'd have had posts every day for at least a week! In any case, stay tuned for the weekly Animation Marathon review (This week, it's Akira. Review should be up Tuesday or Wednesday).
Posted by Mark on December 10, 2006 at 09:10 PM .: Comments (2) | link :.

End of This Day's Posts

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Bowling + Rollercoasters = Fun
Sweet merciful crap:

I think I peed a little. Nice work, Shamus.
Posted by Mark on October 18, 2006 at 12:43 AM .: link :.

End of This Day's Posts

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