Weird Movie of the Week

Weird Movie of the Week

Weird Movie of the Week / /

It’s been a while since the Weird Movie of the Week was actually, you know, a movie. We’ve had books, fake books, and television shows, but now we return to movies with a tale of, um, butt demons? Meet Bad Milo:

A horror comedy centered on a guy who learns that his unusual stomach problems are being caused by a demon living in his intestines.

If that didn’t sell you on the movie, check out this poster:

Bad Milo Poster

Pitch perfect 80s-style poster. As Evan Saathoff notes:

I don’t know. Good movie posters don’t necessarily ensure the advertised film will reach the same levels of quality you see in the one-sheet. Show me a movie poster featuring a butt demon wearing sunglasses and riding a skateboard, however, and it’s hard not to get excited. Obviously, Bad Milo‘s not going to be Citizen Kane. But maybe it’ll make a good pair with its lesser known sequel, Citizen Kane 2: Winter Break Snow Shredderz?

It’s got a pretty great cast of lesser-known comedic talents as well: Ken Marino, Gillian Jacobs, Patrick Warburton, Stephen Root, Kumail Nanjiani, and a bunch of others. It’s available on iTunes now (and maybe VOD, not sure, haven’t checked yet) and will be getting a limited theatrical release in October.

Fake Book of the Week

Weird Movie of the Week / /

I saw this and immediately filed it under Weird Book/Movie of the Week, then realized that I’m a gullible shmuck and it’s a fake book that I just want to be real so that I can red the damn thing. Sheer brilliance:

Is Mankind a Board Game

I mean, come on, “Illustrated with Illustrations”? A ringing endorsement from “The Daily Mail”? A completely bonkers idea that someone talented could probably bullshit their way into a quasi-believable book? Who wouldn’t want to read that? In all seriousness, there is a nugget of truth here, which just takes it all to the next level.

This gloriousness comes to us via the Scarfolk Council, a site that is pretty brilliant on its own. Spend your 4th of July looping around in the 70s, I say.

Weird Book of the Week

1 Comment / Arts & Letters, Weird Movie of the Week / /

At this rate, the Weird Movie of the Week category of this blog will soon contain more non-movies than actual movies. Nevertheless, this one was too good to pass up, and it’s brilliance only really requires a picture of the cover of the book:

The Right to Arm Bears

The Right to Arm Bears. That’s just glorious, is it not? It turns out that it’s really just another in a long line of mildly misleading covers and ridiculous artwork from Baen Books (a publisher I actually really like, but damn their covers are just awful). The book is actually an omnibus of three older, out of print books ( “Spacial Delivery”, “Spacepaw”, and “The Law-Twister Shorty”), none of which approaches the titular splendor of “The Right to Arm Bears” (though “Spacepaw” ain’t half bad). It’s true, these books are about humans interacting with an alien species of giant, intelligent bears, but I’m guessing they don’t dress up in special forces gear, chew a cigar, wear berets, or tote human weaponry around. The synopsis isn’t quite as bonkers as the cover:

Planet Dilbia is in a crucial location for both humans and their adversaries, the Hemnoids. Therefore making friends with the Dilbians and establishing a human presence there is of the utmost importance, which may be a problem, since the bearlike Dilbians stand some nine feet tall, and have a high regard for physical prowess. They’re not impressed by human technology, either. A real man, er, bear doesn’t need machines to do his work for him.

But Dilbians are impressed by sharp thinking, and some have expressed a grudging admiration for the logical (and usually sneaky) mental maneuvers that the human “shorties” have used to get themselves out of desperate jams. Just maybe that old human craftiness will win over the Dilbians to the human side. If not, we lose a nexus, and the Dilbians will learn just how unbearable Hemnoids can be….

Reviews seem middling to poor, actually, though I have to give credit to the guy who titled his review “A bearable read”. Well played, sir. (Hat tip to Justin, who has some more great/horrible covers.)

Weird Movie of the Week: Gumiho

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Last time on Weird Movie of the Week, we looked at a touching tale of trash men, accordions, and tiny third arms. This time, we’ve got tails. Lots of tails. It’s called My Girlfriend Is a Gumiho:

After meeting a mysterious yet very beautiful girl, a wannabe action star discovers that she’s, in fact, a gumiho — a legendary fox with nine tails — who longs to transform herself into a true human.

Alright, so technically it’s a TV show, but I think it sounds weird enough to qualify. The whole thing is available on Netflix Instant, so I guess I can add another show to my list…

Update: Kaedrin friend Dave points out that an even more amazing Korean series is available on Netflix Instant. It is called (I swear I’m not making this up), Vampire Prosecutor:

Prosecutor Min Tae Yeon transforms into a vampire, but he survives by drinking blood sold on the black market rather than by preying on the living. His special powers also give him an edge in solving murder cases.

So he’s a veggie vampire that uses his powers… in the court of law! Awesome. Added to queue.

Weird Movie of the Week

Weird Movie of the Week / /

The last Weird Movie of the Week was Wrong. So very Wrong. This week, we’ve got a touching tale of trash men, accordions, and tiny third arms:

Aspiring stand-up comic Marty Malt can get a laugh only out of his fellow trash man, Gus, who accompanies Marty’s deadly routines on the accordion. But things change for the duo when Marty suddenly grows a third arm out of the center of his back.

Brilliant. It’s called The Dark Backwards and check out this cast: Judd Nelson, Bill Paxton, Wayne Newton, Lara Flynn Boyle, James Caan, and Rob Lowe. Not too shabby. Alas, it’s no longer on Netflix Instant, though it is available on that ancient DVD format.

Weird Movie of the Week: Wrong

Weird Movie of the Week / /

Last time on Weird Movie of the Week… well, it was a book, but it was weirdly awesome nonetheless. This week, we’ve got a movie I’m super excited about, director Quentin Dupieux’s follow up to his wonderfully bizarre movie Rubber (a top 10 Kaedrin fave). It’s called Wrong, and it’s about a man trying to find his lost dog. I guess that sounds a little boring, but check out this bonkers trailer:

It’s a superb trailer, so very energetic, and that song is perfect. Sometimes the Weird Movie of the Week is a movie that, while weird enough to be interesting, doesn’t really look so good and I don’t really want to watch it that much. But I cannot wait to see this movie. I suppose I’m going to have to. Poop.

Weird Book of the Week

2 Comments / Arts & Letters, Weird Movie of the Week / /

After reading the following post, I’m expanding the Weird Movie of the Week franchise to apply to books:

In her book on writing, The Art of Fiction, Ayn Rand said no fiction writer should ever use real people or contemporary events. She said her original draft of The Fountainhead included Hitler, but she later cut him out because she wasn’t sure anyone would know who he was in 10 years. While she was obviously wrong, the principle stands, and today we’re seeing why.

… a book recently sent to BW for review called The President’s Vampire by Idaho author Christopher Farnsworth, opened with Bin Laden’s assassination—by a vampire who stuffed a grenade in his mouth and then threw him over a cliff so he exploded in midair. Also, Bin Laden was actually a giant lizard, genetically modified by a vast international conspiracy of reptilian humanoids.

I gotta say, that sort of grabs you right out of the gate.

But now … well, it just doesn’t seem as plausible.

Issues with plausibility aside, I think I’m going to read these books. This is exactly the sort of thing I’d take a chance on because of Kindle, though now that I look at it, the Kindle version is more expensive than the hardcover, which is absurd. Anywho, this series of novels is apparently based on a true story:

….he discovered an odd factoid in American history: a sailor who was convicted of killing and drinking the blood of his crewmates, then inexplicably pardoned by President Andrew Johnson. So Farnsworth provided a reason: The vampire sailor had taken an oath to serve the nation. The ideas for a series of novels were quick to follow.

“I just thought it would be really cool if Jack Bauer were like a vampire,” said Farnsworth.

Well, yeah. Of the Bin Laden incident described above, Farnsworth had this to say: “That was my Captain America punching Hitler in the mouth moment.” I rather think he one upped the stakes there, and that’s saying something.

Incidentally, this marks the second occasion I’ve linked to the freakin’ Boise Weekly, an Idaho “alternative newspaper”. I blame one of their staff writers, Josh Gross, who seems to have a knack for this stuff.

I’m still going to file this under Weird Movie of the Week, because really, this needs to be made into a movie.

Update: The audio version of the first book in the series is narrated by Bronson Pinchot. Bronson. Pinchot.

Weird Movie of the Week

Movies, Weird Movie of the Week / /

Last time on Weird Movie of the Week we discovered some presidential badassery. This time, we’ve got a ripping tale of aliens, nazis, and lasers:

Zone Troopers poster

Courtesy of Zach Carlson from Badass Digest, here’s a summary:

Watching Zone Troopers, you get the feeling that it’s accidentally ten times better than it’s meant to be. The plot and dialogue seem like they were written on a comic shop toilet stall: Four likeable WWII soldiers named things like “Sarge” and “Mittens” stumble across enemy lines and the Reich’s most carefully guarded discovery: a massive interplanetary spacecraft. One of its pilots has escaped unharmed, and joins our boys in a full-metal lazer-battle against Hitler’s lil’ shits. We even get to see Eva Braun’s boyfriend get smacked straight in the kisser!

Ah, the 1980s. Apparently this movie is actually real and is available through the magic of Manufactured-on-Demand DVD from MGM. Or something.

Weird Movie of the Week

Movies, Weird Movie of the Week / /

Last time on Weird Movie of the Week we examined a touching tale of bovine mutation. This time, we’ve got presidential badassery:

It’s apparently real. I really thought I was watching a parody thing here. Even when I started recognizing the actors, I thought it was, like, one of them Funny or Die videos where they trick famous people into doing a short skit or something. But it’s a full feature. A feature where a beloved U.S. president rides around on a machine-gun-equipped wheelchair fighting Nazi werewolves (literal werewolves, not those other werwolves). Oh and for those looking forward to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, it appears that Kevin Sorbo has been tapped to play Lincoln in this film (and according to the writer, “in this movie Lincoln is the king of all badass presidents, but he’s a stoner. Other Presidents in office can make him come alive out of his White House painting and ask him for advice if they smoke weed with him.”) I also love Ray Wise’s interaction with Einstein. Inspired lunacy.

Weird Movie Synopsis of the Week

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Last time on Weird Movie of the Week, we saw a tale of Elephant vengeance. Against Nazis. This time, courtesy of my friend Dave, we’ve got a touching story of bovine mutation:

“In this unsettling chiller, a genetic experiment intended to boost bovine fertility goes awry when one of the cows spawns lethal mutant offspring.”

Short, but sweet. Does it surprise anyone that this is a film that is available on Netflix streaming? I thought not.

According to Dave, this movie is actually much more well-made than the premise might lead one to believe. I guess we’ll just have to see about that, won’t we? The movie is called Isolation, and IMDB has rated as a rather hefty (for this kinda movie) 5.9 rating from 2500+ users.