The 1978 Project: Part VII

After a spin through some of the more obscure horror films of 1978, the 1978 Project resumes its normal, lumbering schedule. For the uninitiated, I’m doing a deep dive into the cinema of the year of my birth. At this point, I’ve seen 77 films that were released in 1978, which is a pretty respectable number. That being said, I keep finding new and intriguing pockets of films that I want to watch, so I’ve got at least 10 more movies to go.

At some point, we’ll do our traditional roundup of Movie Awards and a Top 10, but it might still be a while. Or maybe January? Instead of doing 2020 movies (since so many are on hold), maybe I’ll do 1978? Only time will tell. I’ve actually seen a fair amount of 2020 flicks, perhaps enough to justify the exercise. But I digress, let’s check out some 1978 movies (fair warning, I watched some of these before the Six Weeks of Halloween started, so my memory has faded a bit and thus my thoughts might not be as insanely insightful as usual).

The Star Wars Holiday Special – I’ve seen bits and pieces of this notorious abomination before, but I’ve never sat through the entire thing. I wish I could say that the experience was worthwhile. That it’s so bad it’s good. But really, it’s just plain bad. Maybe the tragically ironic hipsters could find a way to enjoy it, but I suspect even the most devoted would break down by the end.

It starts off kinda promising, with the Millenium Falcon being chased by some Star Destroyers, but it quickly becomes clear that they’re just using remaindered footage from the movie, and that nothing seems quite right. Then we’re introduced to Chewbacca’s family, which consists of a few Wookies grunting at each other (with no subtitles) for nigh-on 10 minutes. And, like, they’re not fighting the empire or anything. It’s just mundane domestic activities. From there, we get various musical numbers, psychadelic bits, more musical numbers, a four-armed space-Julia-Child cooking segment that goes on for about 5 minutes, and some terrible animation that is the only part of this thing that has any sort of plot (it is famously the first appearance of Boba Fett).

It’s mind-blowing that anyone thought this would be a good way to follow up on the massive success of Star Wars, even if it’s only a TV movie. *

Magnificent Bodyguards – Early Jackie Chan vehicle that stifles Chan’s natural charisma by forcing him to play it straight. Chan plays a bodyguard who is protecting a wealthy woman and her clan as they travel to find a doctor for her sick brother. What follows is a by-the-numbers kung-fu flick that is perfectly cromulent, but really pales in comparison to the rest of the thriving Hong Kong action scene at the time. This was apparently released in 3D at the time, but obviously that’s not what I was watching. The sound effects are particularly glaring here, though one scene works well enough I guess: a fight enters a building and the sound effects continue even though we can’t see it anymore. Ultimately, though, this won’t come anywhere close to the top of 1978, even when restricted to purely martial arts movies (of which there were a ton). There are far better Jackie Chan vehicles in 1978 alone. **

Flying Guillotine II: Palace Carnage – Speaking of better 1978 martial arts films, this is another in a long line of Flying Guillotine sequels (depending on how you count the unofficial entries, this could actually be the fourth installment?) The emperor has expanded his reign of terror, aided by his squad of Flying Guillotine carrying troops. A band of rebels has devised a novel defense against the undefeatable and deadly weapon, but they don’t know that the emperor has commissioned a new version of the Flying Guillotine that is deadlier and undefeatablier. Unlike a lot of these films, the plot here is actually pretty engaging. The pacing is action packed and the decapitations are plentiful. There’s an all-female guillotine squad dressed in pink, iron umbrellas, lots of well choreographed spear battles, a massive body count, and a climax that tops the first film. I can see why there are so many of these films, and this is a fantastic sequel. ***

Cleopatra Wong – Part of the Phillipino exploitation boom, this is grindhouse kung-fu mixed with Bond-esque globe trotting and action. Star Marrie Lee was given the surname of Lee because Bruce Lee was insanely popular at the time and apparently when fans would greet her, they’d tell her that they enjoyed both her movies and her brother’s too. Lee plays the titular Cleopatra Wong, Singapore’s top policewoman who is working with an Interpol task force to take down counterfeiters. The ring is traced to Manila where the counterfeiters have taken up residence in a monastery populated by gun-toting nuns.

Gun-Toting Nuns from Cleopatra Wong

Look, this isn’t exactly fine cinema. It’s the product of cheapo, guerrilla-style filmmaking and it shows. Once you get past that, it’s pretty damn fun. The martial arts are nowhere near its Hong Kong contemporaries, but they make up for it by having Cleopatra blow up a helicopter with exploding arrows or shooting a four-barreled shotgun. It’s silly, but kinda fun if you can get on its wavelength. **

Silver Saddle (aka They Died With Their Boots On) – A young boy sees his father gunned down, but manages to kill the assassin. Years later, he’s become a feared bounty hunter, but now he’s discovered some secrets from his past… One of the last major Spaghetti Westerns, it’s a good example of why the genre was dying. It’s not terrible or anything, but there’s absolutely nothing new or even particularly distinctive here. It doesn’t look bad, but it pales in comparison to other Spaghetti Westerns. Director Lucio Fulci must have been restrained in some way here, because there’s no over-the-top violence or gore (though I suppose both are present). There’s not even a Fulci-trademark eye gouging scene! So yeah, not a bad movie, but a mostly forgettable one that doesn’t really rank anywhere near the pantheon of Spaghetti Westerns… **

I do feel like I’m coming down the homestretch of the 1978 Project. I could probably cobble together a credible Top 10 right now, but there are definitely 2-3 contenders, and maybe 10 more films I’d like to watch before really trying. Alas, some of these are more difficult to track down (which is partly why this project is taking a while). If not January, the 1978 Movie Awards will probably happen in February or March. Stay tuned!

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