Movies

Taking my cue from week one’s celebration of physical media and The Criterion Collection, this week I’m watching three films from Scream Factory. A sub-label of Shout Factory starting in 2012, Scream Factory focuses on releasing classic and cult horror films on discs. While not having the storied history of Criterion, their releases feature many of the same selling points. Most releases are new transfers/remastered/restored and feature gobs of extra features. Only in this case, many of the films are obscure, low-budget genre releases that wouldn’t normally garner such attention, which has certainly endeared them to certain segments of fandom. Look, sometimes you need to rescue an art-house staple from obscurity, sometimes you need to make sure there’s a pristine 4K transfer BD of Ninja III: The Domination. These people are doing God’s work. Of course, there’s a wide range of stuff that they put out, ranging from the grand majority of John Carpenter’s filmography, to a gorgeous looking special edition of The Babadook, to fancy schmansy steelbook editions that also look great, to schlocky 80s fare like Dark Angel (aka I Come in Peace) or Halloween III. Seriously, the notable examples are too numerous to list out here. For my choices, though, I tended to go with stuff that’s more obscure (after all, I’ve already seen a lot of the high-profile stuff), so let’s dig in:

• HELL NO: The Sensible Horror Film (short)
• The Wicker Man (trailer)
• Day of the Triffids (trailer)
• Island of Terror – A remote island community is overrun with mysterious tentacled creatures which liquify and eat bone and multiply at an exponential rate. I have faint memories of being terrified of this movie as a child. Something about the eerie sounds that accompany the monsters (and perhaps, like, the notion of monsters sucking your bones out of your body) struck a chord with me. As an adult, this is perhaps not quite as horrifying, though the sound design of the attacks (a disgusting slurping sound, as if they’re drinking your bones through a straw) is still pretty effective. The look of the monsters, dubbed Silicates, is also memorable and somewhat unique.
  

  A sorta mix between the blob and triffids, they have one big tentacle that they use for their bone-sucking attack. They’re not exactly fast moving, but they are somewhat sneaky and nigh indestructible. The characters, led by the always great Peter Cushing and the square jawed Edward Judd (rumored to have been in the running for Bond), are likable enough, and director Terrence Fisher does good, unshowy work. Fisher and Cushing are known for their collaborations in Hammer horror films, but this was their sole non-Hammer effort together. The solution to the problem is not exactly animal-friendly, but mildly clever. Naturally, there’s a horror stinger at the end that works pretty well (were this made today, it would probably be seen as a sequel setup, but that’s not what it feels like). This isn’t exactly a classic movie, but it’s just the sort of thing that Scream Factory excels at rescuing. A solid little thriller with a unique monster that deserves an audience. The Scream Factory BD is pretty great, featuring a good transfer, a new commentary from some film historians (a little dry, but informative), and the usual trailers/stills. One feature not mentioned yet is that the BD art is reversible, and Scream Factory has a good art style that fits well with this one (the original poster is a bit too disjointed for me, so I actually flipped the art to the new version on my BD). This is the sort of movie that wouldn’t normally get such a treatment, but it seems worth it. **1/2

• It’s the Gifts That I Hate (Robot Chicken)
• Thursday the 12th (Robot Chicken)
• The Prowler (trailer)
• Final Exam – This one has the most complicated plot I’ve ever seen in a slasher: A few kids are left on campus for exams when a killer shows up. Ok, so maybe I exaggerated a little about the plot. This is seriously one of the most perfunctory slashers I’ve seen, barely even bothering with a lot of the conventions. It’s saved, however, by a series of absolutely bonkers moments throughout the film. First, you’ve got a college professor who claims to have a sniper in the clocktower of the school who will shoot anyone who is cheating. Second, mere minutes later, a bunch of masked terrorists assault the school with fully automatic weapons. It turns out to be a prank by a Frat house that was meant to distract the teachers so their friends could cheat on an exam. I’m not sure if this was particularly tasteful in 1981, let alone the absurdity of watching this in 2018. Third, there’s a hazing scene that is pretty goofy and is capped off by a local security guard finding the hazed student strapped to a tree – rather than helping the student, the guard pours whiskey into his underwear. Alas, the killer is a pretty lackluster nothing of a character. Unlike a lot of slashers, there’s no history here, indeed not even a “escaped mental patient” news report. He wears no mask, is a bit overweight, and has a crappy, deeply unscary haircut. For a good portion of the film, that actually doesn’t matter, because we only catch glimpses of the killer, usually obscured.
  

  After the initial murder of two necking students, there’s almost an hour of bland filler before the real killing starts. Some of this stuff isn’t necessarily a problem, but the “stalking” that goes on here is nowhere near as effective as, say, the stalking sequences in Halloween. Anyway, the fourth weird moment is when the killer has our heroine cornered, but some rando hunter with a bow and arrow shows up and shoots at the killer, who apparently has superhuman reflexes and catches the arrow mid-flight (then uses the arrow to stab the guy – ok, so that was pretty cool, I guess). The fifth and final fascinating thing about this film is the character of Radish, a clear precursor to Randy from Scream, he spouts knowledge of serial killers, makes untimely jokes about Nixon, and sports a bunch of genre movie posters in his dorm room (notably The Toolbox Murders). This isn’t a wholly uncommon trope in slasher films, but something about Radish just works better than normal. Perhaps it’s because despite the fact that he’s a pretty classic slasher nerd character, he also seems to be male hero, and the final girl seems to be pretty into him. Ultimately, these are all just sorta disconnected elements and the rest is mostly forgettable, though slasher fans will get a kick out it for sure. The Scream Factory transfer looks pretty darned good. The disc also has a commentary and a bunch of interviews (which I have yet to actually explore). Again, this is the sort of film that I’d never guess would get such a good BD release, but here we are. **

• Thanksgiving (fake trailer)
• Scream (trailer)
• How Scream Should Have Ended (short)
• Cherry Falls – Coming at the tail-end of the post-Scream slasher revival, this movie suffered from censorship and a lackluster release. It never played in theaters, premiered on basic cable, but ultimately found a bit of an audience on DVD. This is a pretty standard post-Scream production, with teen actors famous from TV, a slick visual feel, and the requisite meta-commentary on slashers. This time around, the killer targets virgins, a neat inversion of the normal slasher line about punishing the wicked (though, to my mind, that sort of thing is overplayed by those with an ax to grind). Once that fact comes out, it does lead to a rather goofy third act featuring a proposed orgy as scared kids figure that if they lose their virginity, they’ll be safe. It’s hard to attribute thoughtfulness to a production like this, but it seems to be making some sort of statement about teen sexuality that was uncommon in the genre (which usually just veers towards titillation and exploitation). Not a deep or particularly well established statement, but it’s a statement nonetheless. The slasher kills are pretty light-handed in the gore department, though that apparently had to do with censorship (the MPAA does not go in for the mixing of sexuality and violence in general, and especially at that time). I won’t spoil anything, but the reveal isn’t much of a surprise, and the film barely even tries to hide the identity of the killer (I mean, there’s usually at least a couple of red herrings; here there’s practically none). That being said, the killer’s look is pretty effective, and the backstory has more depth than you’d think. Brittany Murphy is an interesting choice for the final girl, and plays her as vaguely goth and a bit jittery. Michael Biehn plays her father, the town sheriff. Not much of a stretch, but Biehn is good at it, as usual.
  

  There’s a sequence between them where, once the killer’s preferred target becomes clear, Biehn has an incredibly awkward conversation with Murphy that culminates in the bizarre line of “Are you disappointed I’m not a virgin?” That’s some weird writing, right there. Ultimately, there are some interesting ideas here and it’s worth a watch for the small pocket of neo-slasher fans out there, but I suspect this could have been better executed. As it is, though, it’s enjoyable enough fare. As a recent-ish release, the transfer is already good, but the disc also features a new commentary with the director, and new and vintage interviews with cast and crew. This is exactly the sort of movie that could benefit from the Scream Factory treatment. **1/2

So there you have it. Scream Factory puts out some great stuff, including a nice steelbook edition of last week’s Night of the Demons, a fantastic 3-disc set of Army of Darkness, and a rerelease of the steelbook for Carpenter’s The Thing. Also of note is the upcoming boxed-set for the Critters series (maybe worth a revisit for next year’s 6WH). As mentioned before, they put out too much great stuff to list, so I’ll just stop now. Next week, we tackle another purveyor of physical media that just happens to align with several other themes. Stay tuned.

Throughout the years, I’ve seen a lot of Universal’s famous monster movies, but not quite all of them. As such, I figured I should devote some time to catching up with more of them, especially given my resolution to watch 50 movies made before 1950 in 2018. Here we tackle two of the less famous, less “monster” focused entries in Universal’s horror canon (and since I had time, a bonus review of one of the more famous flicks):

• Cats, Witchcraft and the Black Plague (short)
• The Netherbeast of Berm-Tech Industries, Inc. (Short)
• The Black Cat (1981) (trailer)
• The Black Cat – Two American honeymooners, Peter and Joan, get into a bus accident, take refuge at a local home, and get caught up in a dangerous game of cat and also cat as another passenger on their bus, Dr. Werdegast (Bela Lugosi), seeks revenge from their host, famed architect Hjolmar Poelzig (Boris Karloff). This might not sound too much like a Universal Monster movie setup and its lack of anything supernatural might support such an argument, but director Edgar G. Ulmer infuses the narrative and atmosphere with enough menace, especially as the film goes on, that it certainly fits within the oeuvre. Pitting the two titans of horror against one another in a game of vengeance and cruelty is really what sets this movie apart though, and as the circumstances of their relationship become more clear, you could argue that there are, indeed, two monsters at the heart of the movie. Lugosi’s exaggerated theatrics and Karloff’s more cold and calculating performance make for an interesting contrast, and Ulmer accentuates both performances with some visual flourishes (I particularly enjoyed Karloff’s initial, sinister looking reveal).
  

  The setting must have seemed a bit outre at the time, but actually feels rather modern, what with its sliding doors and glass partitions (the only real old-timey note is the spiral staircase). The great performances also support a twisted narrative core featuring war crimes, Satanic ceremonies, torture, incest, and other dark themes; they packed a lot into the 63 minute runtime. Unfortunately, the likes of Lugosi and Karloff suck all the air out of the room, leaving little left for our two viewpoint characters, Peter and Joan. They’re good together, but completely overwhelmed by the story they are sucked into, making the film seem a bit more messy than it actually is. Still, a worthy entry into the Universal canon, and one I’m glad I caught up with. **1/2

• The Cabin in the Woods (trailer)
• Don’t (fake trailer)
• The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror VII: The Thing and I
• The Old Dark House – Five travelers caught in a devastating rainstorm take refuge in a, yes, old dark house. Owned by the reclusive Femm family, the house holds in store strange secrets… and terror! This starts off on the wrong foot, as we’re immediately thrust into a car with a bickering couple and disinterested passenger, but things liven up once they get to the old dark house. Its inhabitants, the gaunt, anxious man (played by Ernest Thesiger, who would later go on to play Dr. Pretorius in Whale’s The Bride of Frankenstein), his cackling, religious sister, and their mute brute of a butler (played by Boris Karloff, who looks so different that someone felt compelled to begin the film with a disclaimer that this is indeed the same Karloff who played Frankenstein’s monster).
  

  The unexpected visitors are less colorful, though Charles Laughton stands out, especially given this strange role where he lives and travels with a woman he has no sexual interest in (doubly relevant when you realize that Laughton’s real life sexuality was somewhat in dispute). Each person and the house itself (it’s almost like another character!) lend the production a certain air of dread, even as the banter turns witty and sometimes even approaches humor. Apparently this film was somewhat groundbreaking in mixing humor and horror, though the humor doesn’t quite translate across the decades as well as the horror. Later revelations about the house and the family lead to some interesting moments. I’d call it derivative (as we’ve seen many of these ideas so many times at this point), except that this was probably the trope codifier (if not the ur example) of many famous horror staples. As such, it’s worth checking out for students of the genre, though it might hold less interest with the normals. Following up the classic Frankenstein had to be tough for James Whale, but he acquits himself admirably here, even if he would do better work in future Universal entries. The copy I saw was PAL (i.e. 576i, slightly better than SD) and didn’t have the greatest transfer, which is a bit of a liability in a film this dark (this could really benefit from a 4k restoration with deep blacks and better contrast), but I could certainly appreciate the visuals for what they were. **1/2

• Hollow Man (trailer)
• The Invisible Man | Mary Shelley’s Frankenhole (short)
• Memoirs Of An Invisible Man (trailer)
• The Invisible Man – A scientist has turned himself invisible and must find a way to become normal again. Unfortunately, the process of turning invisible also drove him insane! The invisible man is played by Claude Rains in a remarkable performance. He is invisible for the grand majority of the film, so you can’t see his face; he must rely on only his voice and physical gesticulations, and he does a great job with it, creating a menacing character with very little.
  

  Indeed, the character is so menacing that it lacks the sympathetic note that made, for instance, Frankenstein such an iconic character. But then, the look of the invisible man is great, whether bandaged up with goggles or even when he’s invisible. The special effects, mostly simple camera tricks and string-work, actually hold up pretty well to this day, and they really emphasize the invisibility by constantly fidgeting with the sets, moving stuff around, and so on. Director James Whale was certainly hitting on all cylinders here, a slick, polished follow up to Frankenstein and The Old Dark House. While I think Frankenstein and Dracula are still the most iconic of Universal’s oeuvre, this one doesn’t deserve to be overlooked. **1/2

So there you have it, three Universal movies that I hadn’t seen before and since they’re all from the thirties, this counts towards my 50 Under 50 project. Two birds, one stone. Anyway, keep your eyes peeled for Sunday’s update, which will be covering three movies from another physical media purveyor. In the meantime, head on over to Film Thoughts, where Zack has been posting up a storm during these same Six Weeks of Halloween!

During last year’s Six Weeks of Halloween, I spent a couple of weeks covering what I had termed “Obscure Scream Queens”, including Erika Blanc and Isabelle Adjani. This weekend, we return to this sort of theme with a trio of films starring 80s B-movie star Linnea Quigley. Literally off the bus from Iowa, she hit Los Angeles in the late 70s and began picking up small roles in B movies, eventually graduating (pun intended!) to a bigger role in the 1981 Troma slasher Graduation Day. She followed that up with a string of higher profile appearances in the likes of Silent Night, Deadly Night, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, and a couple of the movies I watched this weekend, amongst countless direct to video shlock (one of which I also watched this weekend). One of the things that inspired me to use this theme was that Joe Bob Briggs included a Linnea vehicle in his recent The Last Drive In marathon on Shudder, a classy little film called Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. I think you can tell what kinda movie that is right from the start. I loved it, and vowed to explore more of her filmography (and if you’re in the mood to support horror, Shudder is certainly a worthy purchase, and Joe Bob’s commentary is always worthwhile). After last week’s high-brow classics, arthouse films, and foreign entries, it’s time to get a little trashy, so let’s dive in:

• Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (trailer)
• Jack Chop (short)
• Demons (trailer)
• Night of the Demons – A bunch of kids gather for a Halloweeen party at Hull House, an abandoned funeral home fraught with urban legends. Proto-goth girl Angela attempts a seance and inadvertently releases a demon that had been trapped in the house. Hijinks ensue! It’s a premise that isn’t exactly original, but it mashes up a number of familiar elements (from the likes of slashers, haunted houses, possessions, maybe a sprinkle of zombies) to form a well well executed version of each horror trope it gloms onto. The urban legend angle is surprisingly effective, if a bit derivative. The production design is well done despite clear low budget limitations. Director Kevin Tenney provides a few visual flourishes that work really well, such as a POV shot as the demon glides through the house, or a shot with characters reflected in a broken mirror. The kids are an unlikely bunch, but each comes off distinct and avoid feeling like total cardboard cutouts. The final girl is dating a guy who at first seems good, but turns out to be a creep. Her ex seems to be a creep at first, but winds up being a stand up guy. Linnea Quigley plays Suzanne, more of a sidekick than the main demon (and her demon makeup is somewhat uninspired), but she gets some interesting things to do beyond the normal T&A, notably the infamous lipstick body horror gag (amazing for such a simple effect) and a nice eye-gouging sequence.
  

  Amelia Kinkade plays the goth-like Angela, who turns out to be the ringleader demon, and gets some pretty good stuff for herself (of particular note: the go-for-broke dance sequence set to Bauhaus’ “Stigmata Martyr”). Also notable is that the token black character, Roger, actually survives the night along with the final girl. There’s this sorta non-sequitur bookend bit about an old man who plans to put razor blades in apples for Halloween, which is odd, but makes for a neat little coda at the end. Not particularly original, but it’s packaged up well and hits every note you could possibly want in such a movie. I can see why this has become something of a cult hit, and it’s well worth checking out for fans of 80s cheese. ***

• The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror III: Dial Z for Zombie
• White Zombies (Key and Peele)
• Night of the Living Dead (trailer)
• The Return of the Living Dead – A pair of bumbling medical supply warehouse workers accidentally release a poison gas into the air that raises the dead from their graves. A group of punk kids partying in the local cemetery get caught up in the action. A full decade before Scream took the piss out of horror conventions, this film was laying the same groundwork. Written and directed by Dan O’Bannon (most famous for having written scripts for Alien and Total Recall), he was clearly angling for the self-referential, deconstructionist charm that animates (pun intended!) more modern takes on horror. For instance, this flick literally references Night of the Living Dead, positing that the movie was based on real events and that the remains of zombie bodies were mistakenly sent to the warehouse by the army. While deconstructing zombie films, O’Bannon also manages to add his own wrinkles to the sub-genre, most famously imbuing the zombies with an insatiable craving for brains, a trope that really struck a chord. He also made “fast-zombies” a thing decades before nerds started arguing the merits of such details on the internets. Indeed, these zombies can move fast, use complex tools, and even speak (a running gag involving a zombie using a radio in an ambulance to get the authorities to send more brains is pretty funny). The makeup and effects work is pretty good too, giving most of the zombies a distinct look that prevents them from being a completely faceless hoard (until they swarm on unsuspecting victims, I guess, but still).
  

  In particular, the zombie that kicks off the shenanigans, dubbed the Tar Man, is quite effective. All melted and goopy, he’s pretty much the platonic idea for zombiekind. The human characters are fine and O’Bannon’s quirky sense of humor abounds, but mostly they’re just unwilling suppliers of brains to hungry zombies. Linnea Quigley plays the most memorable of the punk kids. Named “Trash” and sporting neon-red hair, her character apparently has a penchant for stripping nude at the slightest provocation, and she spends most of the movie in skimpy clothing (or, uh, nothing), even once she’s been zombified. It’s certainly a memorable performance.

  

  The ending is also a fitting take on the sub-genre, displaying O’Bannon’s perverse sense of humor and giving that last little knife twist that punctuates so many horror movies (though this time, it’s not so much a stinger as it is a dawning realization). I’m not even much of a zombie fan, but it’s hard not to like this one. ***

• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (trailer)
• American Pickers Texas (Robot Chicken)
• Werewolf Women of the SS (fake trailer)
• Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers – A private eye is hired to find a missing girl and gets mixed up in a series of gruesome murders perpetrated by chainsaw wielding hookers who are providing human sacrifices to their Egyptian god. You know, that old saw. Look, if you can’t tell by the title, this is a sleazy B-movie to it’s core, and it revels in cheese. There are feints in the direction of respectability. Jay Richardson plays the private eye as a caricature of noir detectives that actually works reasonably well. The Egyptian cult is led by Gunnar Hansen, who played Leatherface in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, which is a nice touch. Alright, so maybe “respectability” isn’t the right word to use to describe any aspect of this production, but it’s still tons of fun. Linnea Quigley is joined by another infamous scream queen, Michelle Bauer, who gets one of the film’s greatest moments. In a scene that prefigures American Psycho, she takes one of her tricks back to a hotel room, gets naked, covers her painting of Elvis in plastic (to protect it from blood splatter, which will be copious), puts on a hairnet, and then goes to town with a chainsaw. It’s brilliant trash.
  

  Quigley gets a few big sequences too, notably her double chainsaw dance in rather elaborate body paint (yes, T&A abounds again here), and of course, there’s a chainsaw duel between Quigley and Bauer that’s quintessential B-movie cheese. The film has a pretty memorable poster too, and the Blu-Ray I watched has a perfect quote on the cover: “The 4th Greatest B-Movie Of All Time” (from that classic film historian house: Maxim Magazine). Look, fine cinema this is not. But if you want trashy 80s cheese, it’s hard to beat something like this. ??? (I mean, come on, how do you rate something like this?)

So there you have it. Quigley’s filmography clocks in at 154 credits and counting, so there’s plenty of schlock to explore here, and I might even take a flier on one or two additional flicks as the Six Weeks of Halloween marches on (Another good thing about B movies? They tend to be short, 75 minute affairs.) Stay tuned, for next week we’ll tackle another purveyor of fine physical media, Scream Factory!

Last year, I went on a big martial arts kick, loading up my Netflix queues and Amazon watchlist with all manner of wacky martial arts flicks. Thanks to a neglected Netflix DVD queue (yes, I still get physical media from Netflix, don’t @ me) an action/horror hybrid disc showed up in my mail just before the Six Weeks of Halloween officially began. What to do? Look, the 6WH is really just a convenient excuse to binge horror movies, but it’s not like I’m not watching horror year round. So I’m cheating a bit, as I watched these two martial arts/comedy/horror hybrids during the preamble to the 6WH proper, but I thought it would be fun to mention these. Neither are notably “scary”, per say, but there are a couple of spooky moments and a heaping helping of rather bonkers elements. Let’s dive in:

• Spooky Encounters (aka Encounters of the Spooky Kind)- Sammo Hung and Yuen Biao co-directed this little slice of cuckoo bananas about a pedicab driver (played by Sammo Hung) whose reputation for bravery makes him susceptible to all sorts of dares, leading to several encounters with the undead. It turns out that one of his clients is having an affair with the Hung’s wife, and thus hires a supernatural assassin/witchdoctor to kill Hung. It takes a while to get up to speed, at first feeling a bit disjointed as Hung goes from one goofy supernatural situation to another, but eventually the action starts to rev up and the last half hour works really well. The supernatural bits are really quite bizarre, featuring weird twists of things we would normally be familiar with. Zombies, voodoo dolls, hopping vampires (!), Taoist wizards elevating their alters on top of pillars to make their magic more powerful and shooting literal balls of energy and lasers and shit? This movie has it all. Including one of the all time greatest and most bizarre freeze-frame endings ever. I mean, super problematic to modern eyes, I’m sure, but still utterly amazing. The action is also pretty fantastic, and indeed, one of the better examples of Sammo Hung’s unlikely prowess and uncanny acrobatic ability.
  

  I particularly enjoyed the fight with the hopping vampire (the technical term for this is Jiangshi, which describes reanimated corpses that we’d probably call Zombies, but which the Chinese call “hopping vampires”), an undead zombie-like creature that moves by hopping around with its arms outstretched, but which naturally has pretty keen kung-fu abilities. The concluding battle between two Taoist wizards, one of whom uses what appears to be a portable hydrolic lift to elevate his alter to the level of his stationary opponent, represents a worthy action finale. This is not exactly fine cinema, but it’s entertaining af and well worth checking out for fans of martial arts (and horror comedies). This was supposedly the first modern Jiangshi film (though previous martial arts/horror hybrids existed, they often took inspiration from the west, particularly Dracula), and many others followed, including the below film. **1/2

• Encounters of the Spooky Kind II (trailer)
• Tokyo Zombie (trailer)
• Mr. Vampire (trailer)
• Kung Fu Zombie – Billy Chong plays Pang, a man who inadvertently foiled a criminal that has escaped from prison and vowed revenge. Rather than just fighting Pang, the criminal hires a Taoist monk to animate some zombies to do the job for him. It goes horribly wrong, and the criminal dies in the process, returning as a ghost looking to reincarnate himself in a recently deceased body. Yeah, that old chestnut. There’s more to the plot, but you don’t really need to know any more about it. This is not as good as Spooky Encounters, but offers many of the same charms. Billy Chong is a suitably talented martial artist, and he even fights some hopping vampires in this one. The story drags a bit at times and some scenes feel like filler, but the action is well choreographed and entertaining, and there’s enough of a story to justify the action, even if it all feels a bit perfunctory. Still worth checking out for martial arts aficionados (and to a lesser extent, fans of horror comedies). Chong was nowhere near as prolific or charismatic as Hung (or other contemporaries like Jackie Chan), but he carries the day well enough here. **

There you have it. The Six Weeks of Halloween marches on this weekend with a trio of flicks from an quasi-obscure 80s scream queen.

Summer is in its final death throes. The temperatures are dropping, cool, bracing winds are blowing, leaves are turning brown and falling, crushed underfoot like the hopes and dreams of foolish mortals. Grocery stores now sport mutilated pumpkins, styrofoam tombstones, and decorative corpses. And of course, the pumpkin spice must flow. These and other nominally ghastly signifiers of the season can mean only one thing: It’s Halloweentime! To celebrate, we embark upon a six week long marathon of horror movies and associated media. Why six weeks? Because that’s, like, two weeks longer than most celebrations, and we’re better than most people.

On this first week of our marathon, we will tackle three movies from The Criterion Collection. I suppose I could just use Filmstruck to watch these movies, but in this age of disappearing digital purchases, I want to harken back to the days of physical media. This will be part of a larger, multi-week theme, but for this week, I want to focus on the OG physical media masters.

For the uninitiated, The Criterion Collection began in 1984 as purveyors of laser-discs, a storage medium that never quite caught on except with major cinephiles with cash to burn. They really came into prominence with the DVD. The movies are always presented in their original aspect ratios and are painstakingly restored, remastered, and/or transferred (a process often overseen by the filmmakers themselves), ensuring a high quality experience. Furthermore, they pioneered the use of extra-features like audio-commentaries, much of which is disappearing again in the age of streaming. Heck, one of the more underrated aspects of the Criterion treatment is the frequent inclusion of a booklet featuring new essays, concept art, and other ephemera. The artwork and packaging is always top notch and warrants prominent display on your storage shelves not just because they indicate that you are a connoisseur of good taste, but because they just look great.

The copyright regime being what it is, Criterion doesn’t always have the access to the films fans might be most attracted to (studios want to keep those profits for themselves), so they focused on forgotten but influential older films, foreign movies, or art-house classics that, while important to film history, are often overlooked by modern audiences. Early Hitchcock, Akira Kurosawa, Jean Renoir, and so much more; the collection is riddled with classics, often things that would be lost to the annals of history, were it not for their diligence.

As time goes on and streaming increases its stranglehold on the industry, physical media is both dying… and paradoxically flourishing. Since studios can no longer count on the cash cow of DVD/BD sales and have moved on to streaming, they are a little more open to making physical media rights available to niche, specialist outfits like Criterion (and a few others we’ll cover later in the marathon), who give these films the love they deserve.

In terms of Horror, the Criterion Collection has a few small corners of the genre sewn up. Some favorites that we won’t be covering today including: Sisters, The Blob, House, Rosemary’s Baby, Scanners, Night of the Living Dead, The Silence of the Lambs (just recently reissued on BD!), not to mention a bevvy of Hitchcock and other horror adjacent thrillers. Today, we will be covering three moderately obscure entries from the collection, so let’s dive in:

• The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror XIII: The Island of Dr. Hibbert
• Splice (trailer)
• The Island of Dr. Moreau (trailer)
• Island of Lost Souls [Criterion] – An early (indeed, the first non-silent) adaptation of H.G. Wells’ novel The Island of Dr. Moreau, it might also be the best. Judged against it’s contemporaries, it stands out (though I don’t think it beats the best of the classic Universal horror pieces). A story with some level of depth, good performances, nice production design, and solid cinematography anchor a very effective production. The story of a mad scientist who attempted to convert animals to humans using perverse, brutally painful medical procedures disgusted audiences at the time and led to various censorship schemes and bannings. To modern eyes, it’s a bit more staid (originally banned in the UK, then rated X, it’s now rated PG), but even still, some elements distinguish this from its contemporaries. In particular, Charles Laughton’s performance as Dr. Moreau is great. He plays the character as a sadistic schemer, convinced of his own god-like superiority and willing to justify all manner of horrors in service of his scientific curiosity. Laughton could have certainly hammed it up in the role and there’s a bit of that here, but there’s also a sort of chilling restraint, with much of his sadistic intent conveyed through his eyes, winks, smirks, or a slight, almost imperceptible smile.
  

  Moreau is a classic villain largely due to Laughton’s performance. Bela Lugosi also shows up as one of the beast men; buried under hairy makeup, but able to imbue the sad creatures with humanity and compassion (“Are we not men?”) Clocking in at 70 minutes, the film is short and sweet and the climax in which Moreau gets his comeuppance works well (spoiler for a century old story). Apparently H.G. Wells hated the movie, perhaps due to liberties taken with the adaptation, notably the introduction of the lurid (for the time, ahem) Panther Woman and fears of miscegenation, which distracted from his themes anti-vivisection and animal cruelty (which, to be sure, are still in the movie, and still relevant today). Not sure if Wells’ distaste kept the film buried, but it’s only recently re-emerged thanks to the likes of Criterion (and it was included in a DVD box set for Universal, which actually owns the film now), and it stands alongside the great Universal monster flicks of the 30s. Well worth checking out for fans of the era. Special features include an insightful and knowledgable commentary track by film historian Gregory Mank. There’s also a discussion with director John Landis, makeup artist Rick Baker, and genre expert Bob Burns, in which they discuss the film’s influence, why it never really caught on, and H.G. Wells’ distaste for the adaptation. Another interview with film historian David J. Skal, which gives a good overview of horror of the time and he makes a good argument for the differences in filmic adaptations. Richard Stanley, the director of the infamously ill-fated 1996 adaptation gives his take (also worth checking out: Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s Island of Dr. Moreau). Finally, the founding members of Devo also give an interview about the influence (their first album: “Are we not men?”) on their music and videos. It’s a handsome little package, and fans of classic horror like myself would be enamored. ***

• The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror IV: Bart Simpson’s Dracula
• What We Do In The Shadows (trailer)
• Is that a whip? (Robot Chicken)
• Cronos [Criterion] – Guillermo del Toro’s first feature length film is a modern-day spin on the vampire that remains distinct to this day. The story begins with the creation of the Cronos device, an intricate mechanical bug created by an alchemist in the 1500s; cut to present day when the alchemist, having lived 500 years, dies in an accident. The Cronos device, hidden in a small statue, winds up in an antique shop where mild-mannered Jesus Gris (and his granddaughter) discover the device. Meanwhile, a dying millionaire has discovered the alchemist’s journal and wants the device to extend his own life. I think you can see where this is going, but it’d doesn’t quite play out like you might expect. This is a vampire film where the term vampire is never spoken; it mixes hoary old tales of alchemy with vampire myths, and filters them through del Toro’s conception of fairy tales, yielding a unique take on classic horror themes. For instance, once our hero inadvertently triggers the device and comes under its spell, he craves blood. But while lesser films would, for example, make him threaten and almost kill his granddaughter out of hunger, this film never goes there.
  

  Nor does it glamorize or sensualize the craving, instead portraying a melancholy and sad man crawling on the ground to slurp up a bit of spilled blood. This is a movie that could be schlocky, but that was not del Toro’s goal, and the film has lots of thematic depth if you look for it. It’s a slow burn, but never drags. In the end, it’s a unique take on vampire myths, with del Toro’s distinct voice. Special features include two commentaries, one from del Toro, and another from three producers. A video tour through del Toro’s house that plays like a horror nerd’s episode of Cribs (he has all sorts of horror memorabilia, and room hidden behind a bookcase). A bunch of interviews with the actors, an old del Toro short film, and standard stuff like trailers and stills are also on the disc. The booklet that comes with the disc includes a new essay and del Toro’s production notes, which are rather interesting. Another handsome package, with lots to chew on. ***

• The Fly (trailer)
• The Human Centipede (trailer)
• Halloween RARE Deleted Scene 1978 (short)
• Eyes Without a Face [Criterion] – While this week’s theme was based around the Criterion Collection, I could very well have called the theme “Mad Scientists”, as this is the third film that prominently features such (I suppose the alchemist in Cronos is arguable, but go with me here). An obsessive doctor specializing in transplants attempts a radical plastic surgery to restore his daughter’s face (recently disfigured in a car crash). Once again, a schlocky premise with a more artful execution, this story is filled with common tropes. While not specific to a face transplant, there are lots of stories about a grief-stricken scientist sacrificing everything to save or otherwise reconnect with a loved one. In this case, the imagery is what sets this apart from similar tales. The daughter Christiane wears a smooth, hard white mask to conceal her deformity, a clear prelude to other, more famous masks that would later pepper the horror genre.
  

  The reveal of her true face is quite effective. There is a dog kennel that is well composed and creepy. The actual, grueling face-lifting scene is quite unsettling. So it’s visually impressive, and the performances are pretty good too. The score immediately turned me off though. There’s something too plucky and playful about it, almost like a calliope, such that it doesn’t really fit with the tone of the film. It turns out that this tune is only played during certain scenes though, so the rest of the film has a reasonable score. There’s a whole subplot involving the police that doesn’t quite fit. Perhaps it’s a commentary on this sort of thing (common enough in Giallos and other such flicks), but that doesn’t make it particularly fit any better. This is a really interesting film, with clear influence to this day, and there are bits of it that I love, but it doesn’t quite hold together as much as I’d like. Special features include archival and new interviews, excerpts from documentaries that involve this film, and a documentary the director made about the slaughterhouses of Paris. There are less special features here than the others, but they’re decent enough for what they are. This does seem like the sort of movie that would really benefit from one of those film historian commentaries though! As per usual, the packaging and artwork is great. **1/2

One week down, only five to go. Stay tuned for next week, where we’ll revisit one of last year’s weekly themes, obscure scream queens. After that, we’ll return to physical media-land for a few weeks, with some bonus concurrent themes.