Arts & Letters

Celery + Gravity = Art

Art Frahm : A study of the effects of celery on loose elastic. I don’t know what to say here. This is truly disturbing stuff. Its also hilarious, thanks mostly to the insightful commentary of one James Lileks. Essentially, Mr. Frahm made a name for himself by painting pictures of women whose panties had fallen down, usually while holding a bag of groceries (including, oddly enough, celery). Many times theres a dog involved, as well as leering bystanders. Even funnier is that these battles with gravity used to actually happen. According to the FAQ: “Elastic back then wasn�t what it is today.” [special thanks to Wisdom for the link]

How Dare You?

The Soul of America by Neil Gaiman : In a preemptive attempt to answer a question he was dreading, Neil Gaiman askes of himself (in an extended version):

How dare you, an Englishman, try and write a book about America, about American myths and the American soul? How dare you try and write about what makes America special, as a country, as a nation, as an idea?

Much like his weblog (from which I lifted the link), the article is candid and fun to read, and it makes me want to read his new book, American Gods, right now (sadly, its not being released until June 19th). Also of note is this advance review by Mikewhy, webmaster of a popular Tori Amos fan site. Thanks to DyRE for that review.

explicit discouragement

Why I am a Bad Correspondent by Neal Stephenson : A perfectly reasonable document that tries to explain why he is not very diligent about answering his mail, and why he doesn’t accept speaking engagements. He gives a summary:

“I am not a recluse or a misanthrope or a grouch. I simply cannot respond to all incoming stimuli unless I retire from writing novels. And I don’t wish to retire at this time.”

I found the document at Stephenson’s webpage, which is, in itself, a plea for people to leave him alone so that he may write his next novel. He cites the quote “We live in an age of continuous partial attention.” and goes on to explain that writing novels is one of those activities that requires ALL one’s attention. I find the idea of “continuous partial attention” to be a fascinating one, as it is something I try to avoid whenever possible. There is a certain attitude in our culture that expects us to be able to do everything at once and be happy about it. Personally, I would rather do one thing really well than do many things averagely. So I can see where Mr. Stephenson is coming from, I recognize it as a completely reasonable request and I am determined to do my part in helping him achieve his goal. That is to say, I am going to do nothing.

Nothing except link to The Big U, Stephenson’s first novel, self described as: a first novel written in a hurry by a young man a long time ago. Which basically means its not that good. I only mention it because its reproduced there in its entirety, and, until recently, its a hard book to find.

A monumental decline

I know I’ve talked about this before, but I’m going to do it again, because this article is good. Just what is up with the Simpsons? When I saw Mike Reiss speak, I was somewhat suprised at his thoughts on the quality of the show. He basically agreed that the show’s quality was declining, and he stated that even the current “young” writers agree. As the shows became more rediculous, more one-sided, and basically less substantial, I’m still hoping for a resurgence. A fresh infusion of humor from a young up-and-comer might be able to salvage something. Then again, as Mike said in his lecture, the show has been on for 12 years, way longer than any show can sustain a good quality… He also said that since the ratings are higher than ever, the show won’t be going off the air any time soon…

At the end of the article, the author mentions another animated program that has taken the place of The Simpsons as TV’s most enjoyable half-hour of edgy satire. I assume he is referring to the currently defunct (but coming back!) Family Guy, which I found to be very entertaining. I can not wait for its (hopefully) triumphant return. Heres another article by the same author that captures the essense of That 70s Show quite nicely. That 70s Show has really grown on me, in a I-don’t-mind-having-it-on-in-the-background-while-I-fiddle-with-my-computer kind of way. I remember joking about it with my roommates when if first appeared (“Hey Dan, which 70s show is coming on?…. Ohhhhhhhh, thaaat 70s show…”), but that was over 2 years ago. Go figure.

Elements of Phyle

In an effort to continue the mindnumbing posts about genetic mutants and the letter X, I found the Elements of Phyle, a clever jab at both the X-Files and the infamous Elements of Style. Its a handy guide to proper grammar, spelling, and style with X-Files themed examples:

Could have and could’ve are good.

Could of is bad.

(Ditto with would and should.)

“How strange,” Mulder thought, reading the fanfic. “Scully would never say ‘could of.’ Not even in an internal monologue.”

Hard Drinkin’ Lincoln

I attended a lecture at Villanova University last night which was quite interesting. The speaker was Mike Reiss, one of the writer/producers of the Simpsons (among various other stints at The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson and the ever-popular Alf). He doesn’t work at the Simpsons as much as he used to, but still hangs around the offices occasionally. Some interesting tidbits* from the lecture:

  • On Maude Flanders death: “The character just sucked. She sucked and the woman who voiced her wanted a raise… so we killed her.”
  • On the rumored Simpsons Movie: “Its in the contract that a Simpson’s movie must be written by Matt Groening himself.” Apparently, Matt Groening doesl literally nothing with the show anymore, and he never has done much, so Mike said we shouldn’t expect movies anytime soon.
  • Since the Simpsons, he has had a few pet projects, one of which was two series of cartoons for the now defunct Icebox.com. The animated shorts were called “Hard Drinkin’ Lincoln” and “Queer Duck”. They were quite entertaining. (sorry, but I couldn’t find any of them online)
  • In the Q & A, someone from the audience asked if the Simpson’s writers (and the way they used to shock people in earlier episodes) were influenced by the Dada movement of the early 20th century. Mike laughed and said “We’re just dirty”.
  • Mike was one of the creators of Troy McLure; You might remember him from such movies as “The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel” and “‘P’ is for Psycho”.
  • Mr. Smithers was originally black (observe the first few episodes closely, and you can see the “black” Smithers), but they thought having him be the servant of an old, rich, white guy could be offensive. So they made him white, gay, and in love with Mr. Burns.
  • Mr. Burns’ character wasn’t always supposed to be evil. The evil parts are based on Fox president Barry Diller.
  • How could they get away with [insert offensive antics here]? “Hey, we work for Fox.”
  • Conan O’Brien is funny (even after a 16 hour workday).

Theres lots more that I can’t remember at the moment, but it was a good time and I enjoyed myself immensely. If you ever get a chance to see this guy speak, check him out.

* – I’m going from memory here, so some of the quotes might be a little off, but you get the gist of it.

Proceed with your cat story

Say what you want about Art Bell, but you have to admit, sometimes his show is very funny (Warning: This link is in .ram format, meaning it must be played with realplayer, one of the worst, sloppiest, unsecure programs in existance. I appologize in advance for ruining this otherwise fine weblog with realplayer’s poison.) It is amazing how dumb people are (I think he was most likely stoned out of his mind). [thankee sai Widgett]

March Madness? Forget about the NCAA tourney, and head on over to the Sauced 16, a grueling taste test of 16 beers. Who will be the victor? Only 4 remain (including Labatt Blue!?). This line is classic: “Between tasting rounds, the judges’ palettes are cleansed with raspberry sherbet.” Good work Dack.

Metafilter Turns Two and gets some upgrade action. Happy Birthday. Interesting history…

American Gods

Neil Gaiman is using blogger to keep a journal about his upcoming book, American Gods. Its an interesting look into the life of a writer (and a cool guy too:). He talks about stuff like the mechanics of copy editing, coin magic, permissions, and the best things about finishing a book. [via Follow Me Here]

The book sounds interesting too. His description:

It’s a thriller, I suppose, although as many of the thrills occur in headspace as in real life, and it’s a murder mystery; it’s a travel guide, and it’s the story of a war. It’s a history. It’s funny, although the humour is pretty dark.

I’m not too familiar with Gaiman’s work, but I’m probably going to check this book out because Neverwhere rocked my world and he seems like a great writer.

Disentangling

A (not-very) short story. I’m not sure if I like it or not, but I figured I’d post it because I spent all this time reading it and because it has lots of cool mysterious and cryptic happenings set in Philadelphia. The first chapter deals with a kid who works for a Keyser Soze-like mastermind. Very eerie. The last two chapters shift focus to a medical examiner with a penchant for the works of Edgar Allan Poe. He has a run in with said mastermind. Interesting, but the ending is a bit of a letdown (its certainly not Poe).