Coming down the homestretch! Though we’re battening down the hatches in preparation for the Frankenstorm (pretty much directly in the path over here), we nevertheless took in some horror films this weekend, because we’re dedicated like that here at Kaedrin. Alas, no real theme this week, though that’s a sorta yearly tradition of its own. Let’s see how we did:
- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (trailer)
- This is gonna hurt… a lot. (Robot Chicken)
- Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (trailer)
- The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 – So, what to do when confronted with a chainsaw wielding maniac? Dennis Hopper knows the score. In this movie, he fights chainsaws with more chainsaws.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. This sequel is quite the odd duck. Hopper plays a former Texas Marshall named Lefty who has been hot on the trail of the cannibals from the first film… for a dozen years. So yeah, not very good at his job, but we’re rooting for him anyways. It seems that said cannibal family has moved on, settling in the Dallas area and winning chile cookoff contests. Their secret? It’s all in the meat. They’re also quite the interior decorators. Anyway, when a DJ accidentally records the call of a victim, things get hairy for her. Or something. Plot isn’t exactly the strongpoint of this movie. Inbred hicks with metal plates in their head? Hot chainsaw on chainsaw action? Yes. Storytelling? Not so much. That being said, it’s an enjoyable enough film. It’s a little goofy, but the series hadn’t yet completely devolved into outright parody of itself (if memory serves, that distinction is held by the third installment). Tobe Hooper is an effective craftsman, and there’s some creepy visuals here, though Leatherface is the sort of guy that’s creepier the less you know about him… and we get a little too much of a look at him in this movie. Things go on perhaps a bit too long, but again, this is a mostly fun experience. **1/2
- Jack Chop (short)
- Howling III: The Marsupials (trailer)
- Audition (trailer)
- The Loved Ones – I don’t know how I heard of this movie, but here it is, piping hot off the Netflix queue. It’s a sorta Aussie torture porn flick, though not quite as extreme as other entries in the sub-genre. On the other hand, it does feature a creepy father/daughter kidnapping (what can I say, dude loves his daughter) and a frontal lobotomy administered via a power drill.
For his part, our intrepid hero does pretty well for himself despite said lobotomy. The main thread here is pretty effective and visually interesting, though I don’t know that there’s really enough there to sustain the entire movie. As it is, the thing is padded out by our hero’s buddy, who is taking a hot goth chick to the school dance. As near as I can tell, there’s no real purpose to that thread in the movie at all, except maybe to pad out the length a bit. It’s an interesting movie, and worth watching for fans of torture porn. **1/2
- The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror I: Bad Dream House
- The Raven, read by Vincent Price
- Vincent Price Wine Cooler Commercial
- House on Haunted Hill – Nothing like a little Vincent Price to liven up the Halloween season. In this movie, he plays a millionaire who invites 5 other people to spend the night in a haunted house, paying $10,000 to each person who survives the night. Clearly a movie that owes a lot to The Cat and The Canary, with multiple shots seemingly lifted right out of that earlier film. For a movie made in the 1950s, there’s actually quite a bit of spooky imagery, and the film effectively establishes a lot of tension during the early proceedings. As things proceed, we find out that Price and his wife don’t exactly have the best of relationships, and are plotting to kill one another and blame it on the other guests. This is all in good fun, though the tension mostly dissipates once you realize what’s going on. Still, the twists and turns in the final act are entertaining and well done, and at 75 minutes long, the movie certainly doesn’t overstay its welcome. ***
I didn’t realize it until now, but if I had been more careful about the third movie selection, I could have done a power-tool murder weapon theme or somesuch (I’d think of a better name, but since I can’t actually use that theme… what was I talking about again?) Anyways, it’s been a fun six weeks. The big day is coming up quickly, and if my home hasn’t been completely devastated by the Frankenstorm, I’ll post the annual Speed Round – quick takes on all the other movies I watched this season, but which didn’t quite make it to their own post. See you (hopefully) on Wednesday!