There’s some great stuff on Twitter, but the tweets just keep coming, so there’s a fair chance you’ve missed some funny stuff, even from the people you follow. Anywho, time is short tonight, so it’s time for another installment of Tweets of Glory:
I’m 25 and still not Batman. Time to take matters into my own hands and murder my parents.
— Steven (@Sontra) July 5, 2012
Spoiler: The Dark Knight Rises ends with Bruce at a typewriter.The entire Nolan arc was fiction.His parents are alive and hate him
— Owen Pallett (@owenpallett) July 17, 2012
Today in 1818 Savannah was the 1st steamship to cross the Atlantic. It hit 12 icebergs along the way but you didn’t hear them bitch about it
— David T. Cole (@Glark) August 22, 2012
If someone can pls combine the Newsroom theme w/ shots of cats doing notable and noble things over time, I think we’ll all be done here.
— Rachel Syme (@rachsyme) August 20, 2012
I have to admit, hatewatching The Newsroom has actually been pretty entertaining, but I’d much rather watch this proposed feline-themed show.
The Hamburglar always said “rubble rubble” because his home was destroyed in the burger wars.
— Adam Koford (@apelad) August 18, 2012
“No matter the cost, we must hide this baby from Anakin Skywalker.””What should we name him?” “Luke Skywalker.”
— asterios kokkinos (@asterios) August 9, 2012
Every time Heroes gets played at the Olympics, my dad has a Highlander style quickening.
— Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) August 5, 2012
Yeah, so that one’s a little out of date, but for the uninitiated, Duncan Jones is David Bowie’s son.
Picard and his family in France have British accents. In the same ep, the Rozhenkos have Russian accents. Were the real French eradicated?
— John Tabin (@johntabin) August 3, 2012
The way my son reacts when I approach his face with a tissue is the way you’d react if I approached your face with a nailgun.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) August 3, 2012
The Hobbit 2: The Quickening. The Hobbit 3: Dream Warriors. The Hobbit IV: The Final Chapter. The Hobbit V: Bilbo Versus Predator.
— Hal Duncan (@Hal_Duncan) July 30, 2012
One of my favourite moments in the Lincoln-Douglas debates was when Lincoln says, “well I’ve slept with more women than you, so I’m right.”
— Charles C. W. Cooke (@charlescwcooke) July 8, 2012
Does anyone of a picture of a giant cat, reclining and untroubled by the evil Eye Of Sauron? Ah it’s OK just found one. twitter.com/ThePoke/status…
— The Poke(@ThePoke) June 23, 2012
(I love the internet)
Did you know “Michael Bay” isn’t a person but is instead a shoreside production facility in Michigan where movies about explosions are made?
— Calamity Jon (@calamityjon) June 18, 2012
I’ve had to replace the batteries in almost every battery operated thing in my house this week. Coincidence or J-horror movie pitch?
— Devin Faraci (@devincf) May 24, 2012
the jerk store called theres been a terrible accident 38 employees died stop laughing its not funny this is a terrible jerk tragedy dont lau
— mattfraction (@mattfraction) May 21, 2012
Well, that happened. Stay tuned for some (hopefully) more fulfilling content on Sunday…