Star Wars Asciimation : Ok, so it turns out that the phrase “Some people have way too much time on their hands” is completely true. This guy has converted Star Wars into an ASCII animation. The whole movie (well, almost, he’s nearing the end) is presented with ASCII art. He also did a short Asciimation portraying the death of Jar-Jar and is working on a home made jet engine.

These haiku movie reviews are brilliant. [via Wisdom]

The Sixth Sense

Macaulay Culkin

eat your heart out. This is what

child acting’s about.

Filmmaker Stanely Kubrick is known for his brilliance, work ethic, genius, thinking outside the box, etc., but his sense of humor is rarely glimpsed. When he died in March of 1999, The New York Times published a collection of reminiscences by friends and enemies alike, compiled by film director and critic/historian Peter Bogdanovich. Its a touching tribute, and a few of the anicdotes that showcase Kubricks sense of humor caught my eye:

Matthew Modine (actor; lead role in “Full Metal Jacket”): One day I said: “I got a joke for you. … You’re dead.” He said, “It’s not funny.” I said: “Let me tell the joke. Steven Spielberg’s dead, too.” He said, “Steven’s dead, oh, that’s funny.” And I said: “You’re dead and you’re up in heaven and Steven Spielberg has just died and he’s being greeted at the gate by Gabriel and Gabriel says: ‘God’s really dug a lot of your movies and he wants to make sure that you’re comfortable. If there’s anything you need, you come to me, I’m your man.’ And Steven says, ‘Well, you know, I always wanted to meet Stanley Kubrick, do you think you could arrange that?’ And Gabriel looks at him and says: ‘You know, Steven, of all the things that you could ask for, why would you ask for that? You know that Stanley doesn’t take meetings.’ He says, ‘Well, you said that if there was anything I wanted.’ Gabriel says: ‘I’m really sorry. I can’t do that.’ So now he’s showing him around heaven and Steven sees this guy wearing an army jacket with a beard riding a bicycle. And Steven says to Gabriel: ‘Oh, my God, look, over there, that’s Stanley Kubrick. Couldn’t we just stop him and say hello?’ And Gabriel pulls Steven to the side and says, ‘That’s not Stanley Kubrick; that’s God — he just thinks he’s Stanley Kubrick.’ “Stanley liked that joke.

That’s a funny one, but this one is my favourite:

Jerry Lewis (actor-director-writer; edited a film at same studio Kubrick was editing “2001”): He’s in the cutting room and I’m watching this man investigate his work, and it was fascinating. He was intrigued with the fact that I did more than one thing. He was a very big fan of “hyphenates.” I think he would have loved to have written “2001” without Arthur Clarke. But he did have a high regard for people who directed their own material.

I was in my cutting room around 1 in the morning, and he strolls in smoking a cigarette and says, “Can I watch?” I said: “Yeah, you can watch. You wanna see a Jew go down? Stand there.” That was the night I coined the expression, “You cannot polish a turd.”

And then Kubrick looked at me and said, “You can if you freeze it.”

He was a genius. And he could kick Stephen Baldwin’s ass in Chess. [special thanks to riverrun of e2 fame for his writeup on the subject]

Some Thoughts on Clint Eastwood and Heidegger by Bruce Jay Friedman : I don’t much know what to make of this. I know I like it, and that it made me laugh a couple of times, but it also has some sort of wierd, deep quality to it. On the surface its a spastic and completely absurd article, but its actually quite complex. In fact, thats the point Friedman makes about Eastwood.

If you must know, I believe Clint Eastwood’s remote, alienated style is a goddammed metaphor for our time. Which is why I salute him�as a man, as an artist, as a professional (and I understand he’s an outrageous stickler for detail on the set, even though the net effect emerges as being casual), and as a complex human being.

The article is an excerpt from Friedman’s book Even the Rhinos Were Nymphos and was originally published in Harpers in 1976. Friedman sounds like an interesting fellow. I shall have to check out some more of his work…

Kubrick’s Lost Doomsday Scenario : A “suitcase nuclear bomb” being detonated by a “potential enemy” in Washington, DC in a sneak attack? Film director Stanley Kubrick suggested just such a scenario in 1994.�What seemed wildly implausible before September 11th�like a subplot from the director’s apocalyptic classic Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb�no longer seems so far-fetched. Kubrick’s politically-charged essay, which The New York Times refused to publish in 1994, warned of the potential of nuclear attack caused by “accident, miscalculation or madness.”

In a nuclear crisis, tens of millions of lives would depend on communications. We’ve been given some information about the “hot-line” but the nuclear powers should be much more open about the details. Like so many other things that are secret and never used, sloppiness, complacency and lack of imagination tend to take over.

At first, it seems counter-intuitive to be open about the details of your nuclear arsenal, but, in the words of Dr. Strangelove, “the whole point of the doomsday machine is lost . . . if you keep it a secret! Why didn’t you tell the world, ay?!”

Another Strangelove quote: “Deterrence is the art of producing, in the mind of the enemy, the fear to attack!” The scary thing about our current war on terrorism is that the conventional wisdom present in these quotes might not really apply. They’ve certainly proved that they have no fear of attacking us, its just a matter of whether or not they’d go nuclear…