At this rate, the Weird Movie of the Week category of this blog will soon contain more non-movies than actual movies. Nevertheless, this one was too good to pass up, and it’s brilliance only really requires a picture of the cover of the book:
The Right to Arm Bears. That’s just glorious, is it not? It turns out that it’s really just another in a long line of mildly misleading covers and ridiculous artwork from Baen Books (a publisher I actually really like, but damn their covers are just awful). The book is actually an omnibus of three older, out of print books ( “Spacial Delivery”, “Spacepaw”, and “The Law-Twister Shorty”), none of which approaches the titular splendor of “The Right to Arm Bears” (though “Spacepaw” ain’t half bad). It’s true, these books are about humans interacting with an alien species of giant, intelligent bears, but I’m guessing they don’t dress up in special forces gear, chew a cigar, wear berets, or tote human weaponry around. The synopsis isn’t quite as bonkers as the cover:
Planet Dilbia is in a crucial location for both humans and their adversaries, the Hemnoids. Therefore making friends with the Dilbians and establishing a human presence there is of the utmost importance, which may be a problem, since the bearlike Dilbians stand some nine feet tall, and have a high regard for physical prowess. They’re not impressed by human technology, either. A real man, er, bear doesn’t need machines to do his work for him.
But Dilbians are impressed by sharp thinking, and some have expressed a grudging admiration for the logical (and usually sneaky) mental maneuvers that the human “shorties” have used to get themselves out of desperate jams. Just maybe that old human craftiness will win over the Dilbians to the human side. If not, we lose a nexus, and the Dilbians will learn just how unbearable Hemnoids can be….
Reviews seem middling to poor, actually, though I have to give credit to the guy who titled his review “A bearable read”. Well played, sir. (Hat tip to Justin, who has some more great/horrible covers.)
That cover is glorious.