Sister Clodagh’s Superficially Spiritual, Ambitiously Agnostic Last-Rites-of-Spring Movie Quiz

Dennis Cozzalio of the Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule blog has posted another of his famous movie quizes, and as always, I’m excited to provide my answers. Previous installments answering questions from Professor Hubert Farnsworth, David Huxley, Professor Fate, Professor Russell Johnson, Dr. Smith, Professor Peabody, Professor Severus Snape, Professor Ed Avery, and Dr. Anton Phibes, are also available… This time around, Sister Superior Clodagh “has fashioned a quiz organized loosely around themes of religious belief and representation in the movies”, which, now that I think about it, isn’t a particular specialty to me. Perhaps it’s my 16 years of Catholic schooling (and exposure to actual nuns) that has caused me to neglect religious filmmaking, or maybe it’s because most films examining religion aren’t particularly sympathetic. Whatever the case, here are my answer’s to Sister Clodagh’s quiz:

1) Favorite movie featuring nuns

I had a tough go on this one. There are a lot of movies with nuns, but few where the nuns are actually prominent characters. My first thought went to Two Mules for Sister Sara, a movie I don’t even remember that well, except that I remember enough to know that it doesn’t really qualify for this question… I’ve actually not seen this quiz’s namesake in Black Narcissus, so that’s a no go. Looking at the other answers at SLIFR, I see one that works for me though: Sister Mary Stigmata (a.k.a. The Penguin) in The Blues Brothers. The nuns I’ve come into contact with never contained mystical powers, nor did they smack their students with rulers, but I grew up in the namby pamby 80s. I’ve heard stories, though. (Oh, and in the course of one of the other questions below, I found Dead Man Walking – which is a great movie featuring nuns… among other things.)

The Penguin

2) Second favorite John Frankenheimer movie

I’ll go with Ronin (with The Manchurian Candidate being my favorite), but while I’ve seen at least 5 or 6 other Frankenheimer movies, I probably should also take a look at Seven Days in May and Seconds (which would be the punniest answer to this question, tee hee).

3) William Bendix or Scott Brady?

Hell, I don’t really know who either of these people are… But looking at their filmography, I see that Scott Brady was in Gremlins, which is pretty awesome. Then again, I can’t even picture him in that and William Bendix is in a few movies I’d like to catch up with at some point: Hitchcock’s Lifeboat and William Wyler’s Detective Story. But not having seen those movies, I guess this one goes to Brady on a technicality.

4) What movie, real or imagined, would you stand in line six hours to see? Have you ever done so in real life?

I have certainly never done so in real life (though I do seem to recall a huge line stretching around the block for Return of the Jedi in my youth… I don’t remember how long it took to get in, but I’d be surprised if it was six hours). At this point in my life, I can’t imagine doing that for simple entertainment purposes – heck, I get annoyed when I have to wait more than a minute or two to buy a ticket these days. But I suppose that if someone invents a movie that will confer some sort of powers (or immortality or something) to its audience, I’d be willing to wait the six hours for that. I’m not holding my breath though.

5) Favorite Mitchell Leisen movie

I can’t say as though I’ve seen any of his movies, though perhaps I have seen an episode of The Twilight Zone that he directed (if so, I have no remembrance of it). I have done an exhaustive ten-second analysis of his filmography though, and shall thus declare Death Takes a Holiday a movie that interests me. So there.

6) Ann Savage or Peggy Cummins?

Peggy Cummins, because I’ve actually seen movies that she’s in… and I even recognized her name. Poor Ann Savage… but it’s hard to compete with Gun Crazy and Curse of the Demon.

7) First movie you remember seeing as a child

As if I needed a reason to question the reliability of human memory, this question hurts. The first movie that jumped into my head was The Terminator, but that came out way too late to be my first movie, and I know I’ve seen others before it. As previously mentioned, I remember the line for Return of the Jedi, but my memories of that showing must have been superseded by the dozens of other times I’ve watched that movie. I do remember watching Dumbo at some point. I have no idea how old I was at the time, but I’d put that at around 4 years old, as that age is where my mind points to as containing the first real, concrete memories (including a distinct memory of asking how old I was – I may have done that before, but I was 4 years old when I started actually keeping track of my age).

8) What moment in a movie that is not a horror movie made you want to bolt from the theater screaming?

I can’t say as though I’ve ever wanted to do that. I can only remember walking out on a movie once, for Tank Girl, which was emphatically not what I wanted to watch at the time. I do remember getting sick in Cloverfield – and I’m not typically prone to motion sickness either – but instead of bolting from the theater screaming, I simply closed my eyes until my body was able to establish some sort of equilibrium.

9) Richard Widmark or Robert Mitchum?

Robert Mitchum, hands down. I mean The Night of the Hunter, Cape Fear (both of ’em), and Out of the Past… heck, even Scrooged. Tough to compete with Mitchum’s filmography.

10) Best movie Jesus

This is a tough one, as most of the obvious choices are from movies that I’m not that big a fan of… I honestly can’t think of a truly great performance as Jesus. Dafoe’s Jesus is pretty good, I guess, except that’s not really the Jesus I know. I’ve never seen Sydow in The Greatest Story Ever Told, and from what I hear, the movie ain’t particularly good (though he’s apparently good in it). Honestly, the best answer I’ve seen for this one is John Turturro from The Big Lebowski….

11) Silliest straight horror film that you’re still fond of

There are probably dozens of answers I could give here, as I tend to enjoy silly horror films, but the only real possible answer for me is Phantasm. Granted, I does still strike a nerve at moments and can be genuinely compelling, but it’s low budget and horrible acting sometimes make the film laughable. In particular, the sequence where the Tall Man’s finger turns into a bug is a masterpiece of silly cinema. It’s a movie that I’ve always loved though, perhaps because it is earnest, but silly.

The Penguin
Greatest Special Effects Ever

12) Emily Blunt or Sally Gray?

Emily Blunt by default, as I’ve actually seen movies she’s in. This is mildly unfair though, as I’m much more familiar with the filmic period of Blunt than the filmic period of Gray (who was most active in the 30s and 40s).

13) Favorite cinematic Biblical spectacular

Ben-Hur, hands down my favorite Biblican spectacular, probably because it only touches on the Bible peripherally. Most of the other Biblical epics struggle to compete with the minds eye from having read the Bible from a young age. Ben-Hur is based on a novel and had multiple film adaptations before the Charlton Heston, William Wyler take that I love so much, but it still feels like an “original” story, something I value more and more in these days of remakes and marketing-driven films.

14) Favorite cinematic moment of unintentional humor

The obvious answer is the “I hate sand” monologue from Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones, but I wasn’t really laughing at the time because I actually wanted those movies to be good. I don’t really have a list of unintentionally hilarious cinematic moments, but I could probably come up with hundreds of examples if given enough time. Another few that just came to me: several moments in The Happening are just cringe inducingly funny (I’m thinking about the scene where Marky Mark pleads with his students to care about the bees, or the scene where he tells this completely off-the-wall story about how he went to a pharmacist or something), and then there’s the scene where Miles Dyson dies in Terminator 2: Judgment Day, which is just hysterically funny in a moment that is supposed to be deadly serious.

15) Michael Fassbender or David Farrar?

Michael Fassbender, though again, we’re hit with two different time periods, and I’m much more familiar with Fassbender’s work than Farrar’s… Also, Fassbender is pretty fucking awesome.

16) Most effective faith-affirming movie

I had a hard time with this, then the ideas just kept pouring through to the point where I can’t pick a favorite. I’ll start with a pair of Christmas classics: It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street, then move to more modern times with Field of Dreams and one that I saw in the SLIFR thread that I would have never thought of, but which fits: Groundhog Day.

17) Movie that makes the best case for agnosticism

People seem to take different stances on agnosticism, so this question will definitely provoke different sorts of answers depending on how you define agnosticism. Some think it’s all about doubting or questioning the existence of a deity, and their answers indicate such (including snarky ones like “anything directed by Michael Bay makes me question the existence of a god”). Personally, I tend towards the notion that agnosticism is really about the difference between belief and knowledge – I think we are all agnostics of a sort, even if we call ourselves Christian or athiest or Muslim or whatever. The movie that comes to mind here is Contact, which explores the subject at angles. I don’t think the movie is perfect and some aspects haven’t held up as well as I’d like, but I do love the conflict at the heart of the story. Science versus religion, fact versus faith, knowledge versus belief. I have not read the book, and from what I understand, the film stops short. But judging on the film itself, I think it makes a certain sorta sense that aligns with a lot of my feelings on the myriad subjects tackled. In essence, I don’t see the conflicts described as being all that conflicting. Science and religion sometimes struggle with the same questions, but their approaches are so fundamentally different, and the questions so impenetrable and that I think both are necessary…

18) Favorite song and/or dance sequence from a musical

I generally hate musicals, so I have no idea, but I’ll choose the most obscure thing that comes to mind, which is a song from Stingray Sam that consists mostly of the two parents’ names and their offspring’s name, which is a portmanteau of the parents’ names – for example, Fredrick and Edward produced Fredward. It’s a brilliant song. Here, watch it:

19) Third favorite Howard Hawks movie

The Big Sleep, with His Girl Friday being my favorite, and Rio Bravo being my second favorite. In all honesty, the answer could be any of those three, depending on my mood, as I love them all. I also have an affection for Sergeant York, but that’s a more sentimental and personal thing…

20) Clara Bow or Jean Harlow?

I’m going to have to take a mulligan here, as I’m not really that familiar with these actresses’ filmographies. I’ve frequently observed that I need to get better acquainted with the silent era, though I’ve not made much progress in that direction.

21) Movie most recently seen in the theater? On DVD/Blu-ray/Streaming?

Most recently seen in the theater was The Cabin in the Woods (which I loved), though after tonight, it will be The Avengers. On Blu-Ray, it was The Thing remake/prequel/reboot thing (pun intended) that strikes me as being an object lesson in how CGI effects are inferior to practical effects. Also, it was a fine, but pretty unnecessary movie that doesn’t really come close to the classic Carpenter version. On streaming, it was Machete Maidens Unleashed!, a documentary about the Filipino exploitation scene in the 60s and 70s (this will come up later in the quiz).

22) Most unlikely good movie about religion

I have not seen Life of Brian in many years and thus don’t remember much about it other than it was funny and surprisingly thoughtful.

23) Phil Silvers or Red Skelton?

Yeah, so I don’t really know either of these guys. Skelton sticks out in my head, but I don’t really know his filmography that well. And Phil Silvers was in It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World, which I remember enjoying despite the fact that it’s a bit overlong.

24) “Favorite” Hollywood scandal

Not much of a scandal follower myself, so I can’t really think of many, except perhaps the Hollywood blacklist stuff, but even then, I’m not too interested in that sort of thing. I’d rather watch movies than gossip about actors and actresses, thanks.

25) Best religious movie (non-Christian)

This was surprisingly difficult, as most every religious movie I’ve seen seems to involve Christianity in some way or another. The Wicker Man came to mind, but that’s not really a serious exploration of paganism, and much of it is played off of the Christian leanings of the main character. A Serious Man is a great movie and it’s got a lot to say about Judaism. I’ve got to give credit to the guy who answered I Walked with a Zombie, which also brings to mind The Serpent and the Rainbow, both of which (superficially) involve Voodoo. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Gandhi that I’m not sure how religious it really was… Jeeze, this question is harder than it should be.

The Wicker Man

26) The King of Cinema: King Vidor, King Hu or Henry King? (Thanks, Peter)

Erm, yeah, once again I’m not terribly familiar with any of their work, but I’ll go with King Hu for his work with the Shaw Brothers and his work on Wuxia Pian pictures.

27) Name something modern movies need to relearn how to do that American or foreign classics had down pat

This is a deceptively difficult question to answer, but I’ll say dialogue, writing in general, and originality would be welcome in modern movies. Hollywood seems to be stuck in this weird marketing mindset which says that movies can’t be successful unless they’re based on an existing property. Hence the recent spate of remakes and reboots, along with the trend towards franchises that’s been on the march for several decades now. It’s not so much that this stuff is inherently bad as that it’s seemingly pervasive these days, to the point where Hollywood is putting out movies based on board games (which I’d honestly not mind if they actually went out of their way to hire someone talented to write an interesting story – I’d love to see that sort of thing flourish, but from what I’ve seen, that ain’t happening). Conversely, American independent cinema is running too far in the opposite direction, making unpalatable, aggressively insular, “personal” films that are often actively hostile to their audience. That sort of middle-ground where movies can be entertaining but still very good seems to have been lost.

28) Least favorite Federico Fellini movie

Shocking confession: I’ve never actually seen a Federico Fellini movie. I should probably get off my butt and see , but I’ve heard so much about that movie and despite the praise, it never sounds even remotely interesting to me. Ditto for La Dolce Vita. Call me a philistine, I guess.

29) The Three Stooges (2012) – yes or no?

Sure, why not? I’ve never been much of a Three Stooges kinda guy, and I probably won’t see this in the theater, but I’m not actively opposed to it either. This might just be my temperament though, as there’s a question like this in every quiz, and I’m pretty sure I always answer “yes” because perhaps it feels like censorship to say “no” and who am I to judge what other folks like.

30) Mary Wickes or Patsy Kelly?

Boy do I suck at these. I don’t really know either one that well, but I’ll go with Patsy Kelly. Because I said so, that’s why. Also, she’s apparently in Rosemary’s Baby. So there.

31) Best movie-related conspiracy theory

I have no frickin idea what the “best” conspiracy theory is, but one I just ran across thanks to that Machete Maidens Unleashed! documentary is that one of the women who went over the the Philippines to film one of the many women-in-jungle-prison movies made there was never heard from again. The folks at SLIFR have identified a couple of other good ones though, such as the rumor that Stanley Kubrick faked the moon landings on the Universal lot and the one where Steven Spielberg directed Poltergeist. But the best one is probably The Dark Side of the Rainbow….

32) Your candidate for most misunderstood or misinterpreted movie

I’m going to go with The Godfather, for a number of reasons. The big knock against the film is that it’s “romanticized” or “sentimental”, but I think that completely misses the point. Like a lot of great gangster movies, The Godfather does show a sorta romantic aspect to the mafia of olden days, but it also doesn’t shy away from the nasty stuff either, and the very end of the film is quite disheartening. There’s also a lot to be said about the cycle of violence in the film that many folks seem to gloss over. I suppose a lot of this is arguable, but perhaps that’s why The Godfather is a classic.

33) Movie that made you question your own belief system (religious or otherwise)

I’m having a lot of trouble with this one, in part because it’s either too specific, and I can’t think of an example that matches that criteria, or it’s too vague, and nearly any movie that makes me think would qualify. I lean towards that more general version, but again, that means that there are so many movies that could fit into the answer to this question that it would really be unfair to answer with one or two movies… and I don’t have time to list out hundreds!

Well, that wraps up this edition of the movie quiz. I know I’m really bad at the actor/acress vs actor/actress questions, but I still love these quizzes and am already looking forward to the next one (which will hopefully be in the summer instead of skipping a season like this time)….