"Sure, we don't have jetpacks, or live on the moon. But you wouldn't *believe* how fast we can infringe copyright."— Avery Edison (@aedison) April 30, 2012
A Chipotle has opened next to Pink's Hot Dogs in Los Angeles, fulfilling this city's dream of a diarrhea district.— Gerry Duggan (@GerryDuggan) April 22, 2012
Trackpads are ideal for people with a tendril emerging from the chest, which I kinda wish I had for reasons entirely unrelated to trackpads.— Dave (@earlypaintbrush) March 4, 2012
Note: This was Stephenson's first tweet in a year and a half.
Spent yesterday building a giant hamster wheel.— Neal Stephenson (@nealstephenson) April 22, 2012
A girl once told me that peeling the labels off beer bottles was a sign that I was sexually frustrated. "So is this," I said, then sobbed.— Zachary Johnson (@Zucherman) April 18, 2012
This one is obviously a variation on a million similar tweets (and, admit it, it's a thought we've all had), but the first one I saw (or at least, favorited - I'm sure it's far from the first time someone made that observation though)
If I ever run into the kid that plays that prick Joffrey on Game of Thrones, I'm sorry - I'm beating the shit out of him.— Aziz Ansari (@azizansari) April 7, 2012
I'm sure "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" will be fun, but still seems like a ripoff of my "Grover Cleveland: Mummy Puncher."— BillCorbett (@BillCorbett) December 16, 2011
→ should produce a totally bitchin' unicode tiger instead of a stupid right arrow.— Jeff Atwood (@codinghorror) February 19, 2012
"Well sir I'd say my weaknesses are I work too hard sometimes & also I murdered all those teen runaways." --near-miss job interview answer— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) April 29, 2012
Well, that happened. Stay tuned for some (hopefully) more fulfilling content on Sunday...