Recently in Tired Hands Category

Like any good craft brewery, the fine folks at Tired Hands like to collaborate. These often show up at the brewpub (and presumably at the collaborator's brewery), but a couple of recent instances involved Jean traveling to Europe and working with various kindred spirits to produce some stuff that would be bottled and then imported. I've totally been slacking on these, so I figured it was time to catch up with them.

Brasserie de la Senne and Tired Hands Crushable Saison - This was basically a hoppy saison. Pours a cloudy but bright straw yellow color (very typical of Tired Hands) with huge amounts of fluffy, bubbly head that sticks around for a while and leaves lots of lacing (perhaps not as common for Tired Hands - they tend to be lighter in carbonation than this appears). Smells of grassy citrus hops (I get some standard Euro hop feel here, but also some straightforward American hops, like Cascade or Simcoe or something like that), some light peppery yeast, clove, and a little fruity kick too. The taste features a similar quality, lots of Belgian yeast character, very light spicy notes (pepper and clove), hints of fruity esters, and some grassy citrus hops (maybe a bit of hop bitterness in the finish). Mouthfeel is highly carbonated and effervescent, very light body on this, and it is super dry. Given the name, I think they've achieved their goal though: it's super quaffable and yes, emminently crushable. Overall, this is a nice, delicate, quaffable saison. It's not going to light the world on fire, but I could drink a couple gallons of this stuff, which, seems to be what they were going for. It's not a glamorous face melter, but it's the sort of thing you could probably expect to be pouring at the brewpub on most visits. B+

Beer Nerd Details: 5% ABV bottled (11.2 oz). Drank out of a flute on 6/20/14. Bottled 10/10/13. Best By 10/10/14

De Molen and Tired Hands Lost & Found - Check out these pics of Jean and Menno grooving at the De Molen brewery. This is a hoppy black ale fermented with 100% Brett. I can't tell if oak was involved, but I didn't really get much oak out of the taste. Pours a turbid brown color with a finger of tan head. Smells of Brett funk, a little fruity, citrus and pine hops (maybe a little faded, yielding more piney notes), with some dark malt presence and a hint of tartness. The taste has more of that tart fruitiness, and that dark malt character comes on much stronger. Some earthy funk too. The hops seem a little lost in the taste, or at least not as harmonious as in the nose. Mouthfeel is really strange, grainy, a little astringency from that tartness, medium carbonation, medium body. Overall, there's some nice elements here, but the balance is a little off, and the disparate elements don't really come together as well as I'd hoped. It's not unpleasant or anything, but it was a little disappointing. B-

Beer Nerd Details: 6.6% ABV bottled (750 ml caged and corked). Drank out of a tulip glass on 6/20/14. Bottled 27 Nov 2013 (I think that's the bottling date).

Both are imported by Shelton Brothers, so they should be out and about. Of the two, I'd recommend Crushable Saison much more, as it's more representative of their style... and cheaper too! That being said, if you are ever in the Philly area, it's worth making the detour out to Ardmore to visit the brewpub (but given my general enthusiasm for Tired Hands on this here blog, I probably don't need to tell you that).

It's hard to believe that it's only been two years since Tired Hands arrived on the scene and started melting faces with their amazing saisons and quaffable pale ales, amongst other strange and beautiful beers. To a beer nerd like myself, having a brewery of this quality and with these specialties even remotely close to my home has been a Godsend. Two years of fantastic beer, and the future is looking rather bright.

Like last year, the second anniversary celebration yesterday was a total madhouse, and given what they were pouring, totally worth it! I was fortunate enough to snag a seat at the bar rather early on, and my neighboring bar sitters were a lot of fun, which was great. For the sake of posterity and to instill jealousy in you, my valued readers, some half remembered thoughts (based on hastily entered notes jotted into Evernote that I'm trying to decipher right now) on what I had are below.

The Emptiness is Not Eternal - 7% ABV Oak fermented Sorrel & Dandelion Saison - The Emptiness series of collaborations with rockstar farmer Tom Culton continues with this beautiful oaky sour beer, a little more herbal and floral than previous incarnations (all of which were fruited, to be sure). Someone was saying that this resembled Hill Farmstead Vera Mae, though I feel like this is an entirely different beast (in particular, I think the oakiness of this separates it considerably, though the emptiness bugs that bring the funk are also distinct from whatever HF is using). That's all academic though, as they're both great beers. As Emptiness beers go, I think I prefer the fruited versions, but this is still fantastic. A-

St.Twoer - 6% ABV Citrus IPA - Brewed with clementines and a wicked combo of Galaxy, Simcoe, and Motueka hops, this greatly resembles St.Oner (though this one has less notes of pun). Beautiful juicy IPA, lots of bright fruit and citrus hops, the $4 pint deal on this was well worth it.

Handfarm - 5% ABV Barrel Fermented Saison - At this point, I think I've had some of every batch of Handfarm. I've always loved it, but I think this is the first time I've ever seen it on tap and hmm, I think I might like it slightly better that way. A nice vinous and fruity funk character with a more balanced oak presence, I could have probably drank this all day. Still an A- in my book.

Only Void - Garlic Cask - 11% ABV Imperial Stout Cask Conditioned on local black garlic (!?) - Tired Hands has made some weird beers and done some wacky cask conditioned stuff before, but this one really takes the cake. Their description on the draft list they handed out: "Wweeeiiiiiiirrrdddddddd!" This is pretty accurate. The garlic comes through very powerfully in the nose, and much less so in the taste. This is a good thing. The nose is actually really interesting, almost like... pizza? Yeah, kinda like that. Roasty chocolate pizza? Er, not sure. It's perhaps not something I would seek out again, but I'm very happy I tried it because it is a billion times better than it sounds. One of those beers that's just fun to experience. No idea how to rate, so I'll just slap a B on it and be done with it.

American Youth - 5.5% ABV APA collaboration with Half Acre - One of two Half Acre collaborations on tap, this one was a quaffable pale ale that is basically comprised of a blend of Daisy Cutter and HopHands, with the result being a very aromatic, very light bodied and refreshing beer. I seem to be saying this about a lot of these beers, but I could have drank this all day. A-

Geodesic - 6.5% ABV Hoppy Spelt Saison - Alright, so I'm not afraid to say that I was pretty far gone by this point, so my memory here is a little hazy. That being said, it was a very nice funky saison, almost sour (but then, my palate may have just been completely wrecked at this point). This was the last beer of the day for me, so take this with a grain of salt, but instinct sez rate it a B+

Alright, so now we get to the weirdest thing of the whole event, which was the Parageusia Bar. For the uninitiated, Jean has been posting cryptic comments about some dude named Christian Zellerfield, described as the "talented Future Rustic contract-brewer", for a while now. No one really knew what was up with this guy or these Parageusia beers we kept hearing about, and the research department here at Kaedrin turned up almost nothing about them (other than Jean's cryptic pronouncements on social media). So at the Anniversary, you could buy two (very pretty) pieces of glassware, which would entitle you to a fill of each of the beers available (Parageusia1 and Parageusia2) at a little popup bar they set up in the tiny little second floor office. Only two people were allowed in at any given time, the room was all dark and moody, and the whole thing was very hush hush. When we got in there, we asked what was up with the beers, and the Euro-accented "representative" (who was not Christian Zellerfield) gave us the skinny: Cabernet Franc Barrel Fermented sour ales, one at 6.5% ABV, the other at 8.2% ABV. We asked where this guy was, and honest to God, his answer was that he was traveling in space, but that he had chosen Tired Hands to be the one place to distribute his beer in the Milky Way Galaxy (to me, this implied that other galaxies were awash in Parageusia beer, but the representative was evasive when I tried to press him on that).

So the rumor is that Jean is basically fucking with us, and this whole thing is an elaborate ruse. Or that Parageusia is real, but basically brewed entirely by Jean and his crew, and this Christian guy is the one who is yanking our chains. Whatever the case may be, it doesn't really matter, because both of these beers were spectacular. And that glassware is beautiful too...

Parageusia1 - 6.5% ABV Cab Franc Barrel Fermented Ale - Wow, this is an amazing beer, rivaling the best of Tired Hands' output. Very sour, beautiful oaked character, funky, vinous, fruity, absolutely delicious. This was probably my favorite beer of the night. A

Parageusia2 - 8.2% ABV Cab Franc Barrel Fermented Ale - A slightly darker beer, a little more intense on the sour end of things, perhaps not as great as the Parageusia1, but still really wonderful in its own right (and really close in terms of the flavor profile). A-

The word Parageusia is apparently the medical term for a bad taste in the mouth, which could not be further from the truth. I don't know what the future plans for these beers are, but Jean has teased that bottles are coming, so I will most definitely be keeping an eye out for that. Or whatever this crazy space traveling brewer brings to us in the future (or, perhaps, from the future?)

All in all, it was a fantastic day, though I will note that I was happy I took the train to get there! The only thing I didn't get to try was Negative Creep, an oak fermented Kiwi sour ale (it had not tapped as of my departure around 5 pm). Congrats to Tired Hands on two years of spectacular beer, and things are only looking up from here. The next year should see a new brewery and a corresponding increase in output, which is most exciting. Stay tuned, I plan on continuing to make you jealous.

For 40 days or so, I pretty much gave up beer, mostly just to see if I could. There were a couple of preconceived exceptions to that, but for the most part I was busy expanding my horizons to bourbon, wine, tea, and the like. I really enjoyed all that and my pleasantly reduced waistline thanks me, but I have to say, nothing quite satisfies like beer. Not even a Snickers.

One of the things I missed most during my mini-hiatus from beer was trips to Tired Hands. This was exacerbated by the fact that they're absolutely tearing it up of late, and they've had plenty of newsworthy events in the past month, including the announcement of a new production facility and brewcafé ("we will soon have room for hundreds of oak barrels" - music to my earballs) and two, count 'em, two bottle releases. Of course, I attended these because I am a glutton for punishment, but when I finally got back into the beer drinking swerve, I knew I had something special to start with.

This is the third beer in the Emptiness series of barrel fermented saisons made with various fresh fruits from "rockstar farmer" Tom Culton (in this case, we've got Hachiya persimmons). So for my triumphant return to beer, I cracked a bottle of this stuff and experienced a Highlander-style quickening (fortunately, my electronics are hardened against such disturbances). I'm sad to say, the emptiness of this particular bottle will now be eternal:

Tired Hands The Emptiness is Eternal - Pours a beautiful, hazy but radiant straw yellow color with a finger of white head. Smells of oak, fruit, berries, and funky, musty yeast. The taste is perfectly balanced between sweet, bright, and tart fruit, berries, oak, and finishing with a puckering sourness. Mouthfeel is well carbonated (perhaps the highest carbed Tired Hands beer I've ever had!) with medium bodied, a beautiful oak character, and a well matched dry acidity. It's crisp and refreshing, bright and damn near quaffable. This may well be Tired Hands' best sour since the superb Romulon, and is certainly playing with the big boys of farmhouse sours (Hill Farmstead, Sante Adairius, etc...) This beer is awesome, in the true sense of that word. A

Beer Nerd Details: 7% ABV bottled (500 ml waxed cap). Drank out of a flute glass on 4/18/14. 400 Bottle Release.

This will be a tough act to follow, but then, I said that about the last Emptiness series beer... So It Goes? We'll find out soon enough. In the meantime, I had some interesting Allagash stuff this weekend, and dipped into my cellar for another wale that we'll cover later this week. Stay tuned. In other news, I have to get my ass to Tired Hands sometime this week. Godspeed, uh, me.

Celebrity farmer. Rockstar farmer. Now those are words you don't normally see put together, but they're both used to describe Tom Culton, who cultivates a small patch of land in Lancaster County, PA (let's say it's about 70 miles west of Philadelphia), generating obscure, heirloom produce to supply trendy restaurants in Philly and New York. And let's not forget about Ardmore, PA, as Culton is a good friend of the whole Tired Hands crew, and we often see beers made with fresh fruits or cider from Culton's farm (most recently, we had Culton Hop and Culton Sour, both made with 51% Culton-supplied apple cider, though there have been a bunch of others that I simply haven't mentioned in my crazy long recaps).

This particular beer is part of a series of saisons aged in wine barrels with fresh, local fruit. The first was called Out Of The Emptiness, and it was aged on local plums (not to get all Portlandia on you, but I'm not sure if these plums were actually from Culton Organics). I missed out on bottles, but was fortunate enough to get a glass at the release because people are nice. It was awesome enough that I was ready to stand in line for the next one (not that I wouldn't anyway, because I has a problem, but still). Back Into The Emptiness is the followup, and it's aged on French Policeman grapes. I tried to do some research on these suckers, and found out the backstory:

After a few trips to France, he began growing heirloom crops. Then he cold-called restaurants. His first major "get" was the venerable Le Bec-Fin, which bought small table grapes from 75-year-old vines that Culton says a French policeman gave to his grandfather.

Add in some local wine barrels, Tired Hands' house microflora and "ambient microflora from Lancaster, PA", and we've got this beauty:

Tired Hands Back Into The Emptiness - Pours a golden orange color with a finger of fizzy, short lived head, though once it settles down it actually left a bit of lacing. Nose has a beautiful oak character, some musty funk, and a very pleasing fruity sour note too. Taste is delicious, starting off sweet, with a tart, vinous fruitiness emerging quickly and escalating into sourness towards the finish. I don't know that I would have picked out grapes, but this does have a fruited sour feel. The oak comes out in the middle and tempers the sourness through the finish. Mouthfeel is crisp and light, good carbonation (higher than your typical Tired Hands bottled beer), and a moderate but pleasant and well balanced sour acidity. The finish dries things out a bit, but not all the way. Overall, damn if this isn't their best bottled beer yet (at least, that I've had). A

Beer Nerd Details: 7% ABV bottled (500 ml waxed cap). Drank out of a flute glass on 2/21/14.

Not quite Romulon-level, but spectacular nonetheless. Already looking forward to getting a taste of The Emptiness is Eternal, which is due to be conditioned on persimmons (watch out, Pediobear!) from Culton's farm, of course.

It's been a while since I've recapped recapped some recent Tired Hands beers, and these notes just keep piling up, so here goes nothing. Note that the earliest of these is from late August, so it really has been a while since I've attempted to stoke the jealousy of my readership with these local gems. Most are one-offs that will never be brewed again, but we've gotten to a point where I'm starting to recognize rebrews of some of their beers, so you never know.

SCREECHING LOUD THRASHING DEATH METAL OFFENSIVE SONG - 10.5% ABV blended old ale - Named after a review on Yelp where someone complained about the, shall we say, eclectic mix of music you hear when at TH (it looks like someone told her that they brewed this beer in her honor, so she updated her review, but the original one is still there.) A blend of 9 month old Flemish red (25%), fresh Barleywine (65%), and rye whiskey barrel fermented Barleywine (10%). Very interesting! Not a ton in the nose, but the taste is unique and interesting. I'm getting lots of chocolate, and maybe even coffee-like notes. Faint hints of cherries and a note of something bright escaping in the finish (prolly that Flemish red). Unique beer, never had anything like it. B+

Singel Hop Saison Citra - 5% ABV saison - Hurm, either this has gotten a lot better since my last glass (my previous note expressed surprise that Citra wasn't that potent - but it was great this second time), or my palate got destroyed by Vermont beer and is only coming back... Juicy citrus hops and saison spice. Glad I gave it another shot, upgrade! A-

Tabel, Sacred - 4.2% ABV spiced saison - Brewed with oats and Holy Basil, fermented with a touch of grapefruit and pomegranate. Is there a touch of funk in here? Not sure, but it's a nice, quaffable saison, with some citrus rind character, maybe a hint of lemon, an herbal note, and slight spicy yeast notes. B+

Mt.Sharp - 7.2% ABV Citra and Columbus IPA - Interesting sticky icky citrus and pine combo. Sticky and yet creamy? This is striking a chord that I can't place, but who cares, because its awesome! A-

SuchUnique - 8.2% ABV Double IPA, Simcoe & Centennial hops - Nice floral and citrus notes, mango, flowers, good stuff. Well hidden ABV. Good! A-

Pub Style Ale - 4.5% ABV pale ale brewed with oats & Centennial hops - Great nose, lots of citrus, big floral hops in the taste. Quaffable! B+

Sad State of Affairs - 8.2 % ABV DIPA - A less profane reference to the cease and desist for FarmHands? Regardless, this is a rock solid DIPA, citrus and pine, a little slickness but still well balanced. Fantastic! A-

Lizard Queen - 5.2% ABV Motueka & Centennial Pale Ale - Yep, another great pale ale, juicy citrus nose (maybe even a lemon note), some earthy floral notes too. Crushable. A-

Euphoric Sunshine Drip - 5.7% ABV spiced saison with Meyer lemon and pink peppercorn - Another typically great Tired Hands farmhouse saison, not quite funky, but that lemon makes overtures in that direction, and the peppercorn accentuates the yeast well... A-

The Multiverse - 8.1% ABV pear farmhouse DIPA - Wow, really nice pairing (pearing?) of farmhouse spice (funk?) and hops, with neither dominating, but instead melding into something different. Really nice! A-

Critical Anxious - 7.8% ABV Biere De Garde - And I didn't take any notes on this one, though I did write down that I had it, so, um, I dunno. Mulligan.

Oktüberfest - 6.1% ABV Ser Gut Yam Bier - Very nice Oktoberfest style beer, mild, light toasted bread, but still relatively sweet. Great mouthfeel on this one too. Not really my style, but this is my kinda take on the style. B+

My Favorite Show - 5.7% ABV classical modern saison - Typically great Tired Hands saison, almost funky, nice peppery notes, highly drinkable, like a slightly amped up FarmHands (er, SaisonHands). B+

Communication is the Key - 5.5% ABV crushable Simcoe pale ale - Typically great Tired Hands pale ale, big juicy fruit notes, hint of pine, crushable is a perfect descriptor. A-

(Click for larger picture)

So I'm at the bar one night and Jean fills a couple of growlers. He gives them to some guy who's making a trip to Hill Farmstead and says that Shaun Hill likes his beer extra cloudy, so he renamed "Communication is the Key" to "Communication is the Murky" and "We Are All Infinite Energy Vibrating At The Same Frequency" to "We Are All Hazy As Hell Vibrating at the Same Cloudiness".

Fall Precious - 6.6% ABV autumnal saison - Really nice saison, it's got that typical Tired Hands farmhouse character, but it's carving out an identity of its own. Sweet up front, maybe some fruit, with the spice emerging towards the finish. A-

H.C.S. - 5.9% ABV viscous and delicious saison - Power of suggestion, or is this really viscous? Definitely a fuller body than your typical TH saison, very cloudy, a little yeasty spice, well done. B+

MortalGrade - 8.2% ABV DIPA brewed with wheat, oats, Chinook, Citra, Zythos, and Simcoe - Fantastic, one of my favorite Tired Hands DIPAs! Huge juicy citrus, some grassy, floral, and pine hop notes too. Obscenely quaffable for its ABV, no real hint of booze. Great stuff! A

MoMoCoe - 5.5% ABV Motueka, Mosaic, and Simcoe pale ale - Great juicy hop character, lots of grapefruit, nice bracing bitterness, really good! A-

Singel Hop Saison, Chinook - 5% ABV - The 8th singel hop saison, and probably around the middle of the pack. Indeed, the hops and saison yeast seem a little at odds here. Still good, of course, but not the best of the bunch. B+

Under Pressure - 7.6% Blended Artisanal Farmhouse Biere de Garde - Excellent malt forward Brett beer, some nice malty fruit notes, with some peppery yeast and complementary Brett. Great! A-

Coulton Hop - 5.5% heirloom cider/pale ale - 49% of the fermentables came from cider made of apples, pears, and quinces. Hopped with Simcoe and that's really what stands out, but it's amazing that they were able to coax something so beerlike out of something comprised of so much cider... As I drink more, the cider twang becomes more pronounced... Really nice. B+

Coulton Sour - 5.5% heirloom cider/Berliner Weiss - Similar approach with the cider used as fermantable. Holy sour patch kids, this is super tart, and you really get that cider side of things here too. Really interesting beers here. A-

Cosmic Slop - 8.3% DIPA - Tired Hands' 200th batch is a typically great fruit and hop forward DIPA, lots of citrus, pine, and floral notes, very well done B+

Hail Santa - 6.4% ABV Rye IPA - Slightly darker than typical, but still a pale yellow, beautiful juicy hop nose, with some floral and spicy notes hitting in the taste. Really good! B+

I See a Darkness - 8.5% ABV porter brewed with coffee and honey - Collaboration with Sante Adairius, very nice, bigger than normal porter. Tried getting some a few days later, but they were out... B+

Sgt. Salamander - 5% ABV Holiday Sour Berliner Weiss - Wow, this has a typical Berliner nose, but the taste is all sorts of great. Really tight lactic sourness, puckering really, and it's great. Also had some dosed with cinnamon & vanilla bean syrup that just puts this miles ahead. Super flavorful. B+ (regular) and A- (with syrup)

Trendler - 5.5% ABV alt bier - Very interesting and different, Jean is branching out here, malt forward but not heavy at all... B+

Praise Bee - 9% 2X honey IBA - Zombie rides again... Sorta! Doesn't quite live up to zombie levels, but it's really good, nice hop character, well matched dark malts, excellent. A-

Circumambulation - 7.2% biere de garde - Fermented with kolsch yeast and lagered three weeks, this is a subtle beer, super creamy head, not a typical TH feel, but still very good, lots of muted flavors, complex but not overwhelming... B

Bucolic Overlord - 8% DIPA - Brewed with oats, Citra, Columbus, and Simcoe hops. Great stuff, dank and resinous, with floral and citrus notes rounding it out. Superb! A

VOID ego VOID - 9.8% ABV blended imperial stout - Partially barrel aged in Tuthilltown rye whiskey barrels for 7 months... Not a lot of barrel character, roasty up front, sweet towards the finish with a nice hit of vanilla. Not as thick or heavy as you'd expect, but it still has admirable heft. I really enjoyed this! A-

Principal Eel - 6% sour farmhouse IPA - Well this is unusual, better than the last sour IPA I had from TH last year, but something about the strong hop and sour combo doesn't completely work for me... B

All-O-Gistics - 5.9% Experimental IPA - Experimental hop #05256 - Whoa carbonation! Not that I'm complaining, but this is more carbonated than your typical Tired Hands beer. Great juicy hop nose, citrus, pine, and grass. Maybe something like green onion. Taste is more piney and it's got a sharp bitterness. Definitely not your typical Tired Hands IPA, but still great. A-

Can't Keep Up - 6.2% Spontaneous Saison - Fermented in old Tuthilltown rye barrels that had previously been used to make some apple cider (by frequent TH collaborator, Tom Culton), only 10 gallons produced. Amazing, nice oak character, sharp but very pleasant sourness, almost vinous tart fruit, really great. I love this! A

And that just about covers it. If you're local and heading over to the next release on Sunday, let me know!

As previously mentioned, Tired Hands really gets into the spirit of the Halloween season. Last year, they made a series of beers named after classic monsters like Vampire, Zombie (a personal favorite), Ghost, Goblin, and so on. This year's theme appears to be 80s horror monsters, including some suitably obscure choices that warm this jaded horror movie lover's heart (if you're so inclined, check out my generalist blog, where I've been marathoning horror movies for about six weeks at this point). As I write this, Tired Hands is hosting their All Hallows' Eve Supper which features all of these beers and food pairings (not to mention an exclusive, Captain Howdy, which sounds rather great). Alas, I was not very quick on the gun for that, so no supper for me. I'll have to content myself with the regular awesomeness of their beer. So let's do this:

Jason - 6.9% citrus IPA - Awesome juicy ipa, citrus and pine hops, nice bitterness in the finish, just great! I feel like I should have more to say about this since I really enjoyed it, but I'll just note that Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives is arguably the best of the series (with strong contenders in IV and of course, the original). A-

Pinhead - 5.9% ABV saison with cascade, Simcoe, and Amarillo hops - Nice blend of saison and pale ale attributes, a little sweet saison spice upfront with the hops hitting in the middle and contributing a nice bitterness to the finish. In other news, they're remaking Hellraiser. Barker is involved, which is promising, and it's hard to be annoyed by this when there are literally, like, 7 sequels, most pretty terrible. On the other hand, dammit Clive, we need you to finish that third Book of the Art you started writing, oh, 20 years ago (though apparently the manuscript for The Scarlet Gospels, another book he's been talking about for decades, has been sent to the publisher, so that's cool)! And now that I've spent more time talking about Clive Barker than the beer itself, I'll stop. B+

Herbert West - 7.6% ABV Coffee IPA Ethiopian Worka beans courtesy of ReAnimator coffee in Philly (hence the name of this beer) - An interesting spin on your typical Tired Hands IPA, juicy hops of course, but the coffee adds something that doesn't immediately read as coffee. Easy to pick out when you know it's there, but the character is more earthy and almost chocolaty than your typical coffee. In other news, don't you think that the severed head from Re-Animator looks an awful lot like John Kerry? A-

This next beer is a sour wheat saison brewed with PA wildflower honey and fermented atop passion fruit, lime, and grapefruit. Jean kept posting pictures of the pellicle on Twitter, but when I looked at it under my electron microscope, I saw this:

The Thing - 6% sour wheat fruit saison - Um, wut? Halp, this am so fruity that I can has lolcat speech. For realz, this is very strange and quite pleasant, tropical fruit all over, light tartness that is perfectly balanced, sorta like a bigger, stronger Berliner Weiss, really nice! Also, The Thing holds up pretty damn well. Best damn practical effects ever. A-

Freddy - 8% robust porter - Dark like my nightmares, not your typical porter, lots of complexity, chocolate, coffee, very light roast, hint of caramel, smooth as can be, easy going. Keep picking out new flavors as I drink. Really solid stuff! I know Robert Englund got a little down for a while because he was so well known for this one character, but he's become this great horror icon, a grand old man in the genre, and he's raised the profile of a lot of small horror movies in the past decade, so good on him. And Freddy (at least in the first film), is still fantastic. B+

Emerald Skeletons Listening To Your Footsteps - 7.5% IPA - I suppose this is arguably not part of the Monsters series, but it sounds pretty scary, and apparently Emerald Skeletons are gigantic spiders, which are terrifying in themselves, so I'm including it. And yep, another typically great Tired Hands style IPA (at this point, I'm pretty sure I can pick out their IPAs blind), standard citrus and pine, maybe some floral hops too, interesting complexity beyond the hops that's hard to place, but all is well balanced and it's really nice stuff. A-

Blonde Zombie - 11.5% imperial honey IPA - This is basically the same beer as last year's Zombie, but without any of the dark malts. Whoa, this is really nice, citrus, pine, and floral hops in the nose and taste, a little sticky, but it doesn't feel like 11.5% at all. Dangerously drinkable for such a monster (pun intended!)... I might still prefer the original Zombie, but this is still a great beer. Favorite zombie movie I saw during my horror movie marathon this year: Pontypool. It doesn't quite stick the ending, but it's pretty solid (but then, I'm not much of a zombie fanatic, so take this with a grain of salt). A-

Marty Rantzen - 6.8% smoked gourd brown ale - I love the obscurity of this beer name's reference, and if you haven't seen Slaughter High, um, well, you're in for something strange. For instance, during a sex scene, the girl asks the guy for a little mid-coital dirty talk and he responds with "Uhh..tits! Screw! Tits!" He's a poet, I guess. Also notable, someone is dispatched with... a "poisoned" can of Pabst Blue Ribbon (that or it's just regular PBR, they never really say). Oh yeah, the beer. It's a straightforward brown ale base with some added complexity (presumably from the smoked gourds, though I can't really pick them out), nice toasted malt character, easy drinking. I like. B+

So there you have it. A pretty interesting bunch of beers, actually, so kudos to Tired Hands. Moar holiday beer reviews to come later this week.

Tonight was Beer Club, a gathering of beer minded friends from work who get together every month at a local BYOB for libations and fun. This month, someone decided to bring beers she thought would be disgusting. And they were! We should probably discourage this practice, but on the other hand, sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and try some Cave Creek Chili Beer or, in this case, some of Rogue's recent offerings.

Half-blinkered thoughts on each beer are recorded below for posterity, though standard tasting disclaimers apply and I'm a moron so take it all with a grain of salt. In order of drinking (not necessarily the order in the pictar):

• Tired Hands Jason - One of my contributions, and a great way to start the night. I'll probably talk more about this at some other time, but for now it's a very nice, juicy IPA, great hop character and that citrus fruit really comes through. Reminiscent of last year's "Vampire" beer. A-
• Rogue Beard Beer - This beer's gimmick is that it's made using yeast that was found in their head brewer's beard. Sounds appetizing, no? Well, no, but the beer itself was nowhere near as bad as I was expecting. It felt sorta like a bland Belgian pale ale, with some light spicy yeast notes and some sweetness. So not the worst thing ever, but perhaps I set the bar too low on this one. B-
• Jerry's Homebrew "SB" - Mystery homebrew from one member who got it from a friend of a friend, or something. Don't know what "SB" stands for, but that's all it was labeled with. But it turned out to be a pretty good beer in the style of a brown ale or soemthing like that. Not something to go crazy over, but a good homebrew. B
• Rogue Voodoo Doughnut Chocolate, Peanut Butter & Banana Ale - I actually had no real problem with the first Voodoo Doughnut beer, but then again, it's a smoked beer and no one likes those. I don't know why they thought it was a good idea to continue this collaboration with Voodoo Doughnuts, but I guess they're actually selling this stuff. This was a pretty terrible beer. I get hints of that chocolate and peanut butter, but they feel... wrong, like they were buried in Pet Semetary or something. This is an unbalanced, sloppy mess. Not entirely undrinkable, but in no way good. D
• Terrapin Dos Cocoas Chocolate Porter - Now this one gets the chocolate thing right, and the base porter matches really well with it. Not my favorite style ever or anything, but it works well enough. B+
• Trappist Westvleteren 12 - Yep, it's still amazing. Certainly opened some eyes with other folks too.
• Perennial Vermilion Winter Ale - Excellent English style barleywine, lots of caramel, toffee, and almost fruity malt notes, really nice. A little heavy, but that's what you want out of this sort of thing. The sort of beer that makes me want to put on a smoking jacket, sit by a fire next to my bearskin rug on a cold night, making haughty rich person noises. Another eye opener for some folks. Me, I really liked this sucker, and may snag another bottle if it's around (it looks like it was a 2012 one-off, but I've definitely seen it around). A-

And that just about covers it. You may have noticed that it's only been a little over 2 weeks since the last beer club, but we had to reset to the beginning of the month, due to the November and December holidays. So stay tuned, moar to come.

This is the, er, I guess we'll call it the spouse of Tired Hands MotherAnimal (a barleywine conditioned on coffee and vanilla). Near as I can tell, FatherBeast is the same beer, sans the coffee... oh, and it was aged in Dad's Hat Rye barrels. Beast Mode: Engaged. Not being a big coffee person, I expect this to be more my speed, and what do you know, I loved it:

Tired Hands FatherBeast - Pours a slightly cloudy dark brown color with beautiful robey tones and just a minimal cap of head that quickly resolves to a ring around the edge of the glass. Smells deeply of crystal malt, caramel and dark fruits, with some vanilla and oak pitching in as well. As it warms, more whiskey comes out to play too. Taste is very sweet, filled with a fruity crystal malt character, with the whiskey and vanilla sweetness kicking in towards the middle, then leaning back to the intense fruity malt towards the finish. Mouthfeel has a relatively low carbonation which leads to a very smooth and approachable feel, medium to full bodied, not much to indicate the ABV. It's pretty easy going for a sipper. Overall, this is some great stuff. A-

Beer Nerd Details: 11.5% ABV bottled (375 ml capped and waxed). Drank out of the FatherBeast snifter on 9/27/13. "Roughly" 150 bottle release.

Worth waiting in line for, and check out that fancy snifter. Bitchin. As per usual, expect moar posts on Tired Hands in the near future, because I'm a jerk and like to post about beers that will never see the light of day again. You're welcome.