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    • CommentAuthorSamael
    • CommentTimeAug 12th 2006
    I think this song came out a couple of years ago, and maybe I bitched about it then, I don't recall. Anyway, I heard it again on the radio recently, and I just can't express how much I dislike this song. It's just... ugh.

    1. It's not a good song to begin with. There's nothing about the music in this song that appeals to me.
    2. It's got such empty, assinine and offensive lyrics that I just don't understand why it continues to get airplay.

    Let's examine some of the choice lyrics of this brilliant ditty.

    Oh, let's just start with the chorus, shall we?

    "Its not what you did, its not what you didn't
    God gave her the perfect body now I'm all up in it
    Its not she's a tramp, its not she's not pure
    she just likes getting her fuck on and its a good one of that I'm sure"

    It just gets better from there: the entire song is just a narrative from a guy to the father of the girl that the guy is fucking. "Hey mister I really like your daughter
    when I'm horny like thirsty she's a bottle of water
    hey mister, how'd it get so bad
    you raised her so well now she's calling me daddy"

    At one point, the "narrative" goes into all the other shitty things that the narrator has done:
    "I eat all the food in your fridge
    Call my friends around the world
    Rack up your long distance too
    Do breakstands neutral drops
    Wreck all your cars
    Drink all the booze in your cheezy ass wet bar
    Order stuff on your credit cards
    Leave boogers in the skippy jar
    Smoke your cigars
    Answer the phone tell your boss you moved to mars
    When you call home late from work tell your wife
    You're at the titty bars."

    Of course, it wouldn't be complete without finally making it clear (as if it wasn't already) that he's just using the daughter:
    "I can't lie I have to tell the truth
    Man to man mister it's a total spoof
    Your daughter's a freak
    Your daughter's a pro
    When I'm done with her
    She'll do one of your bros"

    The song ends on a real high note:

    "I hope I never have a daughter" repeated over and over.

    Christ. That's some brilliant song-writing.

    God. This song just completely pisses me off.